Muppets Treasure Island: Neverseen Anime Version
by NeverSeenAnimeVersion
Summary: What would happen if Muppets Treasure Island featured anime characters instead of Muppets? Starring Luke fon Fabre as Jim Hawkins, Sora as Gonzo, Edward Elric as Rizzo, Naruto Uzumaki as Kermit Captain Smollett, and Light Yagami as Long John Silver!
1. Captain Kisame's Treasure Map

A/N: You should be very scared now. This is a parody of Muppets Treasure Island featuring anime characters that me and Keyblade are writing together. Yes, I know we are insane. Anyway, have fun reading!

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Naruto, Yu-Gi-Oh, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abriged Series, Fullmetal Alchemist, Kingdom Hearts, Tales of the Abyss, or Death Note. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

Many years ago, a pirate known as Kisame roamed the seas. He attacked many ships, killing their crews and stealing their cargos. Eventually, he had acquired so much treasure that he began to worry about its safety during his voyages. He decided to hide it until he needed it. And so, he sailed his ship to an obscure desert island. He selected some of the most useless members of his crew to go ashore with him.

"Yugi! Tristan! Joey! Tea! Get in!" Captain Kisame called from his seat in the bow of a treasure-filled rowboat.

"But I haven't finished my card game!" Yugi whined.

"I don't care! Get over here!" the captain yelled.

They reluctantly put away their cards and climbed into the rowboat. Tea glanced around the crowded boat. "Where's Tristan?"

"My voice gives me super strength!" Tristan screamed as he jumped from the ship's deck into the small, crowded rowboat.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" everyone screamed and clung to the sides of the boat, praying it would not overturn.

"Don't let the treasure fall!" Kisame screamed as his crew rushed to secure it.

After a while, the boat was safely heading for the island. When they finally reached the shore, Kisame ordered them to carry the treasure. They walked all day before he finally found a satisfactory place to hide the treasure. They dug a deep hole and buried Kisame's chests of treasure. As they finished their work, Kisame revealed his shark-like teeth in an evil grin.

"Are we done yet?" Joey asked, eager to return to his card game.

"Yes, you're done," Kisame grinned evilly as he raised his chakra-eating sword.

Unlike Joey, Tea noticed the evil grin. "You're not going to kill us or anything like that, are you? Cause I don't wanna die unless Yami's here to save me!" She smiled at the thought of Yugi's alter-ego.

"I don't care if you've got a powerful weapon and we're all defenseless! I can still beat you in a children's card game!" Yugi said.

"My voice will shield me from death!" Tristan yelled confidently.

Kisame laughed. Ignoring all the nonsense his victims were yelling, he swung his spiky sword of death and ended their lives.

"And then Captain Kisame made a map to lead him back to the treasure. But he died before he could find it again. And now no one knows where the map is," Hohenheim paused to see his audience's reaction to the story. When no one responded, he asked, "Well? Wasn't that a great story?"

"Umm… Yeah… Sure…" The inn's customers nodded unconvincingly.

"I think we might have enjoyed it a little more if we hadn't heard it so many times," Luke pointed out.

Hohenheim did not appear to hear this. "Luke! Always remember! Beware of the man with the deadly notebook! Even Captain Kisame was afraid of him!"

"Yes, I'll beware," Luke rolled his eyes.

"A deadly notebook? You've gotta be kidding!" Luke's friend Ed laughed. "Come on, let's go back to the kitchen. I wanna get something to eat before Izumi comes back."

"It's not a joke! The man with the notebook will kill you!" Hohenheim insisted.

"He can kill with a notebook? Cool! Does he hit you really hard with it or something?" Sora asked curiously.

"Don't encourage him, Sora. Come on, let's get some food," Ed pulled Sora toward the kitchen.

"Food! Yay!" Sora instantly forgot about the notebook and ran past Ed.

"I'll be right there," Luke said. He continued his chores, ignoring Hohenheim, who was still babbling about pirates, treasure, and notebooks.

The door banged open. Izumi walked in and shoved some stuff into the storage room. She glared at all the customers. "Closing time! Everyone either go to your room or get out!"

Hohenheim reluctantly trudged upstairs to his room as she hustled everyone else out. When the room was finally empty except for Luke and Izumi, she looked around. "Where are Ed and Sora?" Before Luke could reply, she stomped to the kitchen. He heard screams of "It was his idea!", "Sorry!", and "What the heck are you doing in here?!". When Sora and Ed finally emerged from the kitchen, he was surprised to discover that they were still alive, just slightly bruised.

"But I was hungry! And how do you expect Ed to get taller with just the food you give us?" Sora asked.

"What did you say!?!" Ed looked ready to murder Sora for the comment about his height.

"Umm… Never mind…" Sora backed away nervously.

Izumi interrupted before a fight could break out. "Don't you three have chores to do?"

"Yes, Izumi," Luke, Sora, and Ed said in unison.

They began their chores under Izumi's supervision. When she was finally satisfied that all the dishes were washed correctly, she gave them dinner.

"What is this drink?" Ed asked suspiciously after devouring his food. He glared at the cup of white liquid as if it had just tried to kill him.

"I think that's milk," Luke said, taking a sip from his own cup. "Yeah, it's milk."

"I hate milk!" Ed yelled, moving his chair as far away from the cup as possible.

"Well, we don't have anything else available. You know the inn hasn't been doing so well lately. Hohenheim's been the only one using the rooms. Maybe if you sweep the floor, we'll get more customers and you can have something besides milk," Izumi climbed the stairs to her room. After his recent punishment, Ed did not even question her order and immediately ran to get a broom.

"Don't worry Ed! We'll help!" Sora smiled and grabbed brooms for himself and Luke.

"I hate it here," Luke muttered. "It's so boring."

"Me too! I mean, why does it have to be milk? _Milk_?!" Ed shuddered at the thought.

"It would be really cool if we could explore other worlds," Sora said. "Like if we could travel on a pirate ship like the ones in Hohenheim's stories!"

"Yeah, that would be cool," Luke agreed. "Don't worry. I don't want to stay here forever either. We'll go exploring someday."

"The floor looks clean now," Ed glanced around at the floor, which was still as dirty as always. "I think we're done. And I wanna go work on my alchemy now."

"Yeah, I guess it won't get much cleaner," Luke nodded. "And I need to write in my diary before I go to sleep, in case I lose my memories again."

"Lose your memories?!" Sora gasped. "Did Namine erase your memory?"

Before Luke could respond, they heard a noise. Someone was approaching the inn.

"Izumi's not gonna be happy about this," Ed muttered.

"_Sssssssshhhh!_" Everyone looked around in surprise to see Hohenheim standing at the bottom of the stairs. No one had even heard him leave his room. And even more shocking, he was pointing an alchemified gun at the door. Luke, Ed, and Sora froze in horror. Hohenheim with a gun is a very scary thing.

The door burst open. A man wearing a black and red robe stood in the doorway. His eyes were very strange, swirling black and red. "Hohenheim? Where are you? I know you're here!" He stumbled into the inn, bumping into many tables.

"Do you think he's blind?" Ed whispered.

"I think he'd prefer to be called visually challenged," Sora whispered back, ignoring Hohenheim's frantic gestures to shut up.

"Yes! Someone's here!" The man tripped on a chair and fell against Luke. He showed unexpected strength as he gripped Luke's arm, preventing him from running. "So, little girl, where is Hohenheim?"

"What?! I'm not a girl! I even have my hair cut short!" Luke was very offended, so he decided to lie to this mysterious person out of spite. "And there's no one named Hohenheim here."

"You're lying! I know he's here!" The man tightened his grip on Luke's arm. His purple fingernails dug painfully into Luke's skin. Hohenheim slowly aimed his gun and began to pull the trigger. The barely audible noise of his finger touching the trigger was enough to alert the stranger to his presence. Instantly, the man hurled a kunai knife in Hohenheim's direction, knocking the gun out of his hand. He let go of Luke and grabbed Hohenheim instead.

"So, you thought you could kill Itachi Uchiha. Fool! Did you really think my skills had decreased as much as my vision in the past few years?" Itachi laughed. "You betrayed your own crew, stole the map, and abandoned us. We are not happy. But don't worry. We won't kill you… _yet!_" Itachi shoved a piece of paper into Hohenheim's hand and then stumbled back out the door. Everyone listened to the crashes as he tripped over a poor innocent kitty as soon as he got outside.

"Oh no! No! It can't be!" Hohenheim screamed.

"What? What happened?" Sora's head shot back and forth as he tried to see what Hohenheim was yelling about.

"Is it that paper the visually challenged guy gave you?" Ed asked.

With trembling hands, Hohenheim held up a piece of paper with a black spot drawn on it.

"So what does the black spot mean?" Sora asked, still confused as always.

"It's a pirate's death sentence. It means Itachi and the rest of the crew are going to kill me!" Hohenheim explained, starting to panic.

"Wait a minute! You're a pirate?!" Ed's eyes widened.

"Yes, I was Captain Kisame's First Mate. And when he died, I became Captain with Itachi as First Mate," Hohenheim started to walk back upstairs to his room. Still curious, Sora, Ed, and Luke followed.

"So, do you really have Kisame's treasure map?" Luke asked as he watched Hohenheim stuff a bunch of junk into his suitcase. Hohenheim pretended not to hear.

"And they're going to kill you if you don't hand it over?" Sora asked.

"Yes, they're planning to murder me tonight!" Hohenheim was now completely panicking. Itachi's threat and the resulting panic were too much for Hohenheim's heart. He collapsed.

"He's dead! But that's not kid-friendly!" Ed gasped.

"I guess this isn't a censored fanfic," Sora said.

"Shut up! I think he's still alive!" Luke leaned closer to hear Hohenheim.

"Luke…" Hohenheim stared at Sora.

"Wow! Is he a zombie? …Umm… I mean, he's Luke, not me," Sora pointed at Luke.

Hohenheim stared at Luke now. "Luke, the map's in my suitcase. Find the treasure."

Ed and Sora were already tearing through all Hohenheim's stuff. His possessions flew all over the place. Luke reached down and picked up the map.

"Hey! How'd you get that?" Sora asked.

"Luke… Beware… Beware of the man with the notebook…" Hohenheim's warning was barely audible. He took one last breath and then his heart stopped beating.

"Yay!" Ed cheered. "And I'm _not_ coming to your funeral!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! He's dead! Run!" Sora and Luke screamed and ran downstairs, dragging Ed with them.

At that exact moment, the door burst open! Itachi stumbled in, followed by hordes of heartless!

"I'll get Izumi! You guys hold them off!" Luke yelled as he ran back upstairs.

"Okay!" They both agreed instantly. An army of killer pirates was definitely preferable to waking Izumi up. Ed alchemified a spear and Sora grabbed his keyblade.

Luke ran up the stairs and knocked on Izumi's door. She opened it looking ready to kill everyone. It took all of Luke's courage not to run away screaming. "Pirates are attacking the inn!"

Before Izumi could respond, there was a huge explosion and the inn caught fire! Luke dashed downstairs. Ed and Sora were arguing.

"Why the hell did you cast Firaga?! There was gunpowder all over the place!" Ed yelled.

"You're the one who knocked over the gunpowder! It was your fault!" Sora glared at Ed.

"Umm… Guys? The inn's on fire and pirates are attacking! Let's get out of here!" Luke yelled. They finally stopped arguing and ran outside.

"The inn's gonna be destroyed," Ed said, looking sadly at his burning home. Everyone stood in silence for a while.

Sora was the first to brighten up. "Well… We've got the map. Maybe we really could go on an adventure and search for treasure!"

"But what about Izumi?" Luke asked.

"Don't worry about me! Get somewhere safe!" Izumi yelled as she pummeled Itachi and the rest of the unfortunate pirates.

Luke, Ed, and Sora ran away to begin their adventure!


	2. Asakura and Sons Boating Company

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Tales of the Abyss, Fullmetal Alchemist, Kingdom Hearts, Shaman King, or Tales of Symphonia. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

After running away from the inn, our heroes needed to get out to sea, get a crew, and find the treasure. Of course, they needed to find someone who would actually _fund_ this adventure, which would be a challenge in itself, as no self-respecting shipping agency would even bother funding an adventure for buried treasure. This problem usually resulted in them getting thrown out. They were now sitting in the town square, trying to think of a good plan.

"At this rate, we'll never find someone to fund the trip." Luke grumbled.

"Well, you can't blame them Luke. I mean, this treasure might not even exist, and these big boating companies do NOT want to waste millions and millions of dollars on something that might not even exist!"

Luke gave Ed a grumpy stare. "Well Edward, _you're_ the smart one, with all your 'alchemy' and your 'Truth behind Truths'—"

Ed waved his hand to shove away Luke's mocking ones. "I know, I know! Just give me time to think out a plan..."

Luke wished that he had some sort of Thing, just some Thing that he could take his anger out on and crush with his foot if he wanted. Yeah, something with a voice so annoying it would drive just about anyone off the wall. He smiled at the idea, but he thought he'd be scolded by someone who secretly loved cute things, and his smile faded.

Sora chose this opportunity to put in his two-cents on the subject, "But I'd wanna go on an adventure, waste millions of dollars on a bunch of stuff I might not even need, risk my life, and go to an island to find that there's nothing even there! And guess what we'd learn about?"

Ed and Luke reluctantly asked, monotone, of course. "What?"

Sora made a funny-looking face. "That ships run on smiles!"

Luke and Ed did a quick game of rock-paper-scissors behind Sora's back to see who would whack Sora on the head for his rather stupid response (They had been doing this procedure for years, ever since Luke was seven). They tied a few times, but

Ed was given the honor to do the whacking (his rock beat Luke's scissors), so he whacked Sora over the head with his non-automail hand.

Sora let out his usual response. "Oww! Ed, even with your non-automail hand, that still hurts..."

Ed seemed to be struck with inspiration. "This is it! We just need to find someone who's as— well, y'know—like Sora! Someone who's rich and is like Sora!"

Luke looked interested in this idea, "Hey, you're right! We just need to find someone gullible enough to fund our trip! Let's look some more!"

After some searching with no such luck, our heroes finally found a place that they where (what seemed to be) a fairly spacey-looking guy let them in. He had short jet-black hair, and seemed to wear headphones to keep some of his hair out of his face. Luke and his fellow companions sat down.

"Hi there. I'm Yoh Asakura, and this is Asakura and Son's boating company. So, what exactly do you want me to look at?"

"Well, I know this will sound kinda far-fetched, but to make a long story short, this creepy blind guy with freaky eyeballs burst into the inn where we used to work, demanded for something from this _other_ creepy old guy who used to live there, but got a heart attack from a black spot on a piece of paper and died, gave use this something, and then a bunch of other pirates came in and _someone_ caused the inn to explode, leaving us with—"

Ed motioned toward Luke, who pulled out the map from his pocket and gave it to Yoh, who took it and looked at it. "The map that's in your hands now."

Yoh seemed to look at the map with keen interest in it. "Well, this looks like an honest-to-goodness treasure map," Yoh lifted his right pointer finger, "Right, Amidamaru?"

Luke, Ed, and even Sora stared. Never before had they seen someone talk to their finger like that, or even give their finger a name.

Sora decided to break the silence. "Umm...is your finger really named tha—"

Before Sora could explore this matter further, what looked like a flash of pink crashed into the room, leaving the other side with a very big hole in the wall. Luke, Ed, and Sora leaned over to get a better look. He was wearing what looked like a big, pink cape, with gold lining, with a black sleeveless shirt, white pants, and a gold and red pendant below his neck. He also had pinkish red hair.

"Oww... Jade, I'd really like to stop being the guinea pig for your Fonon Cannon!"

The trio (along with Yoh) looked to see a man who looked like he was in his thirties with long, light brown hair, and glasses. He was wearing an outfit that was mainly colored many different shades of blue, and looked like something that a soldier would wear.

"Oh, Master Yoh, I do indeed apologize. I wouldn't have had Zelos _again_ fly into the wall for one of my experiments if I knew you had guests. And they are—"

Luke took it upon himself to introduce himself, along with his friends. "I'm Luke. The blond one's Ed, and the spiky-haired one is Sora."

"Ah, I see. Good to meet you all, then." Jade shook hands with the boys. "I am Professor Jade, and the pink one on the ground," Jade pointed to the grumpy smoking pile on the right side of Yoh's desk. "is my lab assistant, Zelos."

"It's 'Mr. Hunny Magnet' to you!" Zelos objected, obviously not happy with such a lowly title like "Lab Assistant."

Jade cast a sarcastic look of apology. "Oh, I'm so _sorry_, Zelos. Next time, I'll remember to call you by an even more embarrassing name."

Zelos pouted. Sora decided to ask his question again. "So, your finger is really named Amidamaru?"

Yoh looked slightly surprised at this. He then elaborated on this subject. "Oh no. My finger's not named that. It's just the name of the man who lives _inside _my finger."

Everyone (except Zelos and Jade) gave Yoh a totally blank stare. Yoh gave them an equally spacey stare back. Finally, Luke broke the silence. "So, do you think that you could fund this voyage across the ocean for this treasure?"

Yoh looked confused. "What's this 'ocean'?"

Ed looked annoyed. "Come on... the ocean!"

Yoh still continued to stare at Ed, not understanding this word called "ocean". Ed sighed, and simplified the word for Yoh, "The Big Blue Wet Thing."

Yoh's eyes lit with comprehension. "Oh yeah! _That_ big blue wet thing!" he exclaimed, finally remembering what Ed was talking about.

Yoh turned toward Luke. "Getting back to business, I'd be more than happy to fund this expedition! Captain, crew, you name it!"

"Yes!" Luke and his friends celebrated happily, not knowing that this would be one of the most dangerous adventures of their lives.


	3. The Man with the Notebook

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Tales of the Abyss, Shaman King, Fullmetal Alchemist, Kingdom Hearts, Naruto, Death Note, Ouran High School Host Club, Fruits Basket, Disgaea, or Tales of Symphonia. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

"Welcome aboard the Tartarus!" Yoh waved to them from the ship's deck.

Climbing aboard the massive vessel felt like a dream come true for Luke and his friends. It felt like years had passed since their miserable life at the inn, when in actuality, it had only been a few days.

"Are these the cabin boys?" someone asked. They turned to see a dark-haired boy who looked a little like Itachi, except he shorter and wore a loose white shirt and black pants with a purple rope tied around them, instead of a black and red robe. And he didn't appear to be blind.

"Hi First Mate Sasuke!" Yoh smiled at him and held up his finger. "Amidamaru says hi too!"

"Hello Yoh. Hello Amidamaru," Sasuke said. His expression made it appear as if he were in pain. Apparently, he didn't like having to greet someone's finger. "So are these the new cabin boys?"

"Yes, they're Luke, Ed, and Sora," Yoh said. "They're the ones who found the treasure map! Amidamaru, have you ever found a treasure map?" He paused and held his finger close to his ear. "Wow! You've been to the moon! What? Twice! You're amazing, Amidamaru!" He wandered away while having an avid conversation with the man in his finger.

Sasuke stared after him in amazement. He could not believe he was being paid by such a strange person. He turned back to the trio. "We won't be leaving port until the captain arrives. In the meantime, you can go to the galley as long as you stay out of the way." He walked away to supervise the ship's preparation.

"Galley! That means kitchen!" Sora jumped up and down in excitement. "Ed! Let's go get the food! …Ed? Where'd he go? He was here just a second ago…" He looked around, unable to find Ed.

"Is that him over there?" Luke pointed. "What the hell is he doing?"

They rushed back to the dock to see Ed standing near a large, colorful sign that said "Pirate Cruise!" A long line of tourists stood in front of him.

"Have a great vacation, Mr. Sohma," Ed said as he took some money from a spacey-looking white-haired teenager.

"What's going on?" Sora asked curiously.

"Well, I figured that if it turns out Hohenheim's map is fake, which is definitely a possibility cause I don't trust that jerk at all, we can still make plenty of money off a cruise for tourists," Ed grinned.

"Excuse me, sir," said a tall boy with glasses and an Ouran High School uniform. He was standing at the front of the line with a group of people in similar uniforms. "My name is Kyoya Ohtori. I think this cruise would be more enjoyable if you would allow me to organize buffets, dances, island tours, etc."

"Umm…" Ed looked confused. He hadn't thought ahead to what the tourists would actually do during the voyage.

"Isn't this wonderful?" A boy standing beside Kyoya pointed dramatically at the ship. "A whole cruise to spend with my dear daughter Haruhi!" He hugged one of his companions.

"I'm not your daughter, Tamaki," she said, but he didn't appear to hear.

"And of course, we will also have to entertain some of the lovely ladies joining us on the voyage," Tamaki smiled at a girl standing behind him in line. "Hello! What's your name, my beautiful princess?"

"Hi! I'm Tohru Honda. It's very nice to meet you," she said with a ditzy smile, completely unaware that he was flirting with her.

"Get away from her. _Now_." Her friends Yuki and Kyo stepped protectively in front of her, giving Tamaki death glares.

"Hey Ed! Can we go to the kitchen now?" Sora asked, his stomach growling loudly.

"Kitchen? Sure!" Ed glanced back at Kyoya. "Hey! Wanna take over here?" Kyoya nodded, looking very pleased. Ed grinned and ran to the kitchen with Luke and Sora.

When they arrived in the galley, they saw a young man preparing food. He looked up at their approach. "Hello! You must be the new cabin boys." They nodded and introduced themselves. "I'm the ship's cook, Light Yagami. Please feel free to visit my galley whenever you're hungry."

"Yay!" All three rushed into the kitchen and began devouring everything in sight, except milk, of course. They had never even seen so much food. It was undoubtedly the best place they had ever been.

When Luke had eaten his fill, he was about to head back towards the deck to explore the rest of the ship when something caught his eye. He froze as he noticed a black notebook on a table near Light. Large white letters said its title: "Death Note".

"What's the matter, Luke?" Light followed Luke's gaze. "Oh, so you've noticed my notebook?"

"C-can you kill people with it?" Luke asked, remembering Hohenheim's constant warnings. Although he had viewed it as heaven just moments before, Luke now wanted nothing more than to get away from this kitchen.

"Kill people? With a _notebook_?" Light laughed. "No, I'm afraid it's not nearly as exciting as that. Actually, to be honest, it's my diary. I lost my memories once, many years ago. So now I have to write in my diary every night, in case it happens again." He looked sadly at the notebook.

"Really?" Luke's eyes widened. He completely forgot his fear of Light and the notebook. "That happened to me too! I got kidnapped and lost all my childhood memories, so now I have to write in a diary too."

Light looked at him sympathetically. "You never really feel the same again after losing your memories, do you? It's always like a part of you if missing and you'll never know who you truly are."

Luke nodded. "Yeah, that's exactly it."

"Well, if you ever need to talk about it, I understand what you're going through. I would be honored to be your friend. After all, a friend you can trust is worth his weight in gold." Light smiled at Luke.

Luke smiled back, but before he could reply, Ed and Sora interrupted.

"He's got _us_ as friends!" Ed said, glaring at Light.

"Yeah! Wanna go explore the rest of the ship, Luke?" Sora asked, smiling after his large meal. "Thanks for the food, Mr. Yagami!" They turned back toward the galley door, pulling Luke along with them.

"Hey! Who are they? Aren't you gonna introduce me, Light?" someone yelled behind them.

Their curiosity outweighed their desire to leave the kitchen immediately. They turned around again to see a strange-looking boy in a red cape.

Light rolled his eyes. "This is Laharl, the demon overlord of the Netherworld. Laharl, these are the new cabin boys, Luke, Ed, and Sora."

"Aren't pirates supposed to have talking parrots with them? Not demons?" Sora asked in confusion.

"Talking parrots? Pirates? Don't be stupid! Geez, next you're gonna tell me there's a singing, dancing mouse with his own amusement park," Laharl laughed at this ridiculous idea.

"Oh! You know King Mickey?" Sora looked excited. They looked at him like he was insane.

"All hands on deck!" Sasuke's voice echoed all over the ship. Everyone finally left the kitchen and returned to the ship's deck.

"What's going on?" Ed asked Sasuke.

"The captain's coming!" Sasuke yelled. "Everyone get ready! If the ship's not perfect, you will face the captain's wrath!"

"Is the captain really strict?" Luke asked nervously.

"Strict?! If anything's not absolutely perfect, the one responsible will probably be thrown overboard or shot on sight! The captain is tormented by inner demons you mortals can't even imagine!" Sasuke yelled at them. "Seriously, he's got a fearsome demon inside him."

"A fearsome demon? Cool!" Sora was the only one excited at this.

A carriage sped down the street, its horses whipped to go as fast as possible. The crew was silently stood at attention. Luke, Ed, and Sora held their breath, terrified of the approaching captain. The carriage finally slowed to a stop in front of the ship. The door opened.

A tall, serious man stepped out. He had spiky brown hair and purple armor. His muscular hand gripped the hilt of his sword, ready to use it as soon as necessary. He glared at everyone on the ship. A moment passed when no one dared to even breathe. "…" was all he said.

The man stepped aside. A boy with spiky blonde hair jumped out of the carriage. He wore a metal headband, an orange and black jacket, and orange pants. A big Sora-like smile spread across his face. "Hi everyone! I'm Captain Naruto Uzumaki! Thanks for the ride, Kratos!" He waved at Kratos as he ran excitedly toward the ship.

"That's the really strict guy with the demons?!" Luke laughed.

"I'm terrified!" Ed laughed sarcastically.

Captain Naruto had finally reached the ship and hurried aboard. "Hi Sasuke! I'm Captain and you're not! Haha!"

Sasuke looked ready to kill someone. If only Itachi were there… But unfortunately, he was busy getting his butt kicked by Izumi. So Sasuke looked around for someone else to take his anger out on. He noticed some dust on the railing. "You! You were in charge of dusting! The captain is furious! Forty lashes and then you walk the plank!" He yelled at one of the crew members.

"Uhh… Sasuke, I didn't order that," Naruto said.

"Oh right…" Sasuke glared at the person he had just been yelling at. "You got lucky this time…"

"You must be the new cabin boys!" Naruto greeted them. "This voyage is gonna be great, isn't it?" They all nodded eagerly. This captain was definitely preferable to the one Sasuke had described.

"Set the sails!" Naruto yelled. "Begin the voyage!"

The crew eagerly began preparing. They sang happily as the ship sailed out of the port. Ed, Sora, and many of the tourists happily joined in and sang enthusiastically. Luke helped Light with the sails. They didn't sing much.

Laharl lurked in a corner with two girls. They were whispering and seemed to be plotting something. Sasuke walked over to them to see what was going on. When they saw him approaching, one of the girls, a ditzy blonde angel, sang out, "It's a good life on a boat!" Laharl and the other girl, who looked much more demonic, joined in.

As the song ended, Luke stood at the bow of the ship and looked out at the sea ahead. The sunlight made the water shimmer as it reflected the clear blue sky. He smiled. It felt great to finally begin the voyage for the treasure!


	4. Roll Call

Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto, Tales of the Abyss, Fullmetal Alchemist, Kingdom Hearts, Death Note, Disgaea, Inuyasha, Black Cat, Tales of Symphonia, or Shaman King. We also do not own the rights to these.

"Alright Sasuke! Time for roll call!"

Sasuke grumbled. It was bad enough he had to listen to Naruto for the whole voyage, but he was also in charge of babysitting (what looked like) a bunch of raggedy sailors. If Sasuke didn't know better, he would've assumed they were pirates. He took the slip of paper from Naruto's hands, and with a sigh, started roll call.

"Luke fon Fabre."

"Here!"

"Edward Elric."

"Here."

"Sora... Hey Naruto, can you read his last name? It looks smudged..."

Naruto leaned over Sasuke's shoulder. "Hmm..."

Sasuke looked back at Naruto, annoyed. "Naruto, I don't think you can see anything if you have your eyes closed like that..."

Naruto looked back at Sasuke, equally annoyed. "How do you think I can't see with my eyes closed? I did it all the time when I was twelve…"

Sasuke decided to let the matter drop. After all, there _was_ only one Sora on the whole ship...

He then got back to roll call.

"Light Yagami."

"Yes sir!"

"Laharl... Why the hell don't you people have last names? Ahh... just forget it."

"When you're done complaining, just check off my name off, please." Laharl commanded in his usual tone.

"Etna."

"Here!"

"Flonne."

"Wha? Did someone say something about love? The Power of Love owns all!"

Both Sasuke and Naruto blinked. After clearing his throat, Sasuke _again_ resumed roll call.

"Ansem."

"DARKNESS WILL RU—"

"Naraku."

Ansem went and did a Tamaki Rejection position, and many of the other pi— "sailors" looked at him strangely. Tamaki yelled, "That position is copyrighted! You owe me twenty bucks!"

"Present."

Sasuke frowned. Naruto, wondering why, asked, "Hey Sasuke, what—"

Sasuke gave Naruto a death glare, and through gritted teeth, he stated, "I. Will. Not. Say. That. Name. It's too stupid."

Naruto jumped slightly, then read what the name was. "Misa-Misa?"

An annoying blond girl enthusiastically replied, "Present for you! The ever-awesome sensation that is Misa Amane is here!"

Sasuke gave the annoying girl a death glare, but figured she couldn't see him. Naruto couldn't help but comment. "Wow, she's like a female Pervy Sage... not like his perviness, but her announcing herself like that…"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He then resumed the role call yet again...

"Tobi."

"Here! Oh, and Deidara-senpai is here too!" Tobi exclaimed, pointing to the blond guy who looked miserable next to him.

Without Naruto looking, Sasuke mouthed to Deidara 'I feel your pain.'

"Zetsu."

Zetsu burped.

"Gross... Gaara of the Sand."

"Here."

"Creed Diskenth."

"I wanna see Train..."

"Oookay, Orochimaru."

"I'm right here, Sasuke-kun..."

Sasuke gave a visible flinch, and a look of complete disgust crossed his face. He then, once again, resumed roll call.

"Envy."

"Aye!"

"Pride."

"Right here."

"Sloth."

"Zzzzz..."

"Yeah... you're here... Gluttony."

"I WANNA EAT!!!"

"Wrath."

"Here."

"Greed."

"WHERE'S THE MONEY!?!"

"Lust."

"Aye."

Both Naruto's and Sasuke's jaws dropped. They would have fallen off too, but they were unfortunately incapable of that at the moment. With a look of controlled annoyance on his face, Naruto muttered to Sasuke. "Sasuke, I'd like to see those responsible for this voyage in my office, **please**." Naruto stressed the please with (what seemed to be) annoyance and anger.

_He's bugged, and now he's either going to take it out on me... or someone else... I feel bad for that someone else... _

Luke, Ed, Sora, Yoh, Jade, and Zelos were all standing in the captain's quarters, Naruto facing the window opposite to them and Sasuke facing the guests, with a look that was (he thought) sure to keep them in place. Everyone did not even dare to breathe, let alone move. After what felt like an eternity, Naruto finally asked his impending question, which was more like demanding than asking. "Okay then, now the one thing I want answered is—" Naruto turned to face those whom he though responsible, with red eyes that highly resembled that of a fox, "WHO IN THE NAME OF THE FOURTH HOKAGE YONDAIME HIRED THIS CREW!!!"


	5. Torture!

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Shaman King, Naruto, Death Note, Kingdom Hearts, Tales of the Abyss, Fullmetal Alchemist, Ouran High School Host Club, Black Cat, Tales of Symphonia, Disgaea, and Fruits Basket. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

Everyone immediately pointed to Yoh. Yoh looked nervously at everyone glaring at him, then pointed to his finger.

There was a moment of silence before Naruto finally spoke. "…Your finger hired the crew?"

Yoh looked at him like he was insane. "Are you crazy? Of course my finger didn't hire the crew!" He laughed. Naruto looked relieved. "No, it was the man who lives in my finger. Amidamaru hired the crew!"

Naruto's look of relief vanished. He was momentarily speechless. Finally, he managed to say, "Amidamaru… hired… the crew?"

"Yeah! Isn't he great? He hired the whole crew with just a little advice from our excellent cook Light Yagami!" Yoh smiled proudly at his finger.

"I'll go get Light," Sasuke volunteered, still staring at Yoh in disbelief.

"No need, I'm already here," Light said as he entered the room with a cart full of food. "I thought you could use a snack during your meeting."

"Oh thanks! Would you like some pocky, Amidamaru?" Yoh asked.

"Light, we need to talk about this crew," Naruto said seriously. "I have some serious concerns… Is that ramen?!" He forgot about this serious issue when he spotted his favorite food. Sasuke coughed loudly. "Oh right… I have some serious concerns about this crew. They're the creepiest group of people I've ever seen!"

"They look like pirates to me!" Sora piped up through a mouthful of pocky.

Light laughed. "The crew? They're harmless! I personally interviewed all of them. They're perfectly capable of sailing a ship and I doubt you could find a more innocent group anywhere. You have absolutely nothing to worry about!"

Naruto still looked suspicious. "Well, I guess there's nothing we can do about it now… This meeting is adjourned."

"Great! Back to work then!" Light said. "Hey Luke, do you think you could give me a hand in the kitchen for a while?"

"Yeah, sure!" Luke started to follow Light.

"Hang on a second, Luke!" Naruto motioned for him to move closer. When Luke obeyed, he whispered so that no one else could hear. "I heard you're the one with Captain Kisame's map. Do you think I could hold on to it for safe keeping?"

"No, I'd really rather keep it. But don't worry. I'll keep it safe," Luke promised before running after Light. As the door slammed shut behind him, Ed and Sora looked annoyed.

"I guess he doesn't want to hang out with us anymore…" Sora said sadly.

"I don't like that Light guy!" Ed declared in annoyance.

"I don't trust him either… But he does make very good ramen!" Naruto said as he happily ate the ramen. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Later that night, Kyoya organized a party to celebrate the end of their first day at sea. The tourists danced to music played by the ship's band. No one was quite sure why they had a band or even how it got on board.

"Train! I knew you'd be here!" Creed yelled to the drummer. "Come with me! I need to talk to you. I found a bedroom that's perfect for a private conversation." He grinned suggestively.

Train gave him a look of absolute revulsion. He turned to the rest of the band. "Can I kill him now?"

"Wait till the end of this song," Sven said. Rinslet nodded in agreement. Without missing a beat, Eve used nanotechnology to transform one of her ponytails into a giant hammer, which she then whacked Creed with.

"Thanks Princess!" Train smiled.

On the other side of the ship, Zelos looked longingly at the party. "Jade, can I _please_ take a break? I wanna dance with Misa-Misa and Lust and Flonne and Etna and Tohru and Haruhi and all the rest of the pretty girls over there! My hunnies need me!"

"Not yet, Zelos," Jade grinned. "We need to set off some fireworks for the party."

"Meep!" was all Zelos could say. It was never good when Jade needed his help with explosives.

As the fireworks began, Zelos's screams echoed all over the ship. They could even be heard up in the crow's nest, where Luke and Light were talking.

"Thanks for all your help today," Light said.

"You're welcome," Luke smiled. "It's so great to finally be on a ship!"

"Yes, it is… You know, I heard a funny rumor today. It was about the reason for this voyage," Light glanced at Luke to see his reaction. "According to rumor, we're on a treasure hunt. And someone on board has a map. Pretty crazy, huh?"

"Yeah, really crazy…" Luke said, not meeting Light's eyes. Eager to change the subject, he looked up at the night sky. "There are a lot more stars here than back at the inn."

"That's because there's less light at sea than on land," Light explained. Pink sparks scattered across the sky, accompanied by another scream. He corrected himself, "Well, there's usually less light anyway…" He looked back up at the stars. "Hey Luke, do you know how to tell which way is north?"

"Yeah, that's easy!" Luke pulled a shiny, expensive-looking compass out of his pocket.

Light grabbed it from him. "I meant, find north without a compass."

"Give it back!" Luke snatched it back. "It's all I have left of my home. All I have left from before I lost my memories."

Light frowned. "I'm really sorry, Luke. I didn't know."

They were both silent for a moment. Then Luke said, "Sometimes I wonder what I was like back then. Did I have a family? Did I have friends? I just don't know."

"Well, you have a friend now," Light said, smiling again.

"Yeah, I do," Luke smiled back.

Light pointed up at a star. "That star is always north. Navigating by the stars is one of the most important skills for a sailor. But I doubt the captain or the guy in Yoh's finger can do that. They need charts and compasses. Just stick with me, Luke, and I'll teach you to be a _real_ sailor."

"Okay!" Luke said eagerly.

The next day, Ed and Sora sat together in a corner of the deck. They were eating pocky and watching Luke and Light. Luke hadn't spoken to them much since meeting Light. They both missed the other member of their trio very much.

"I hate this ship," Ed muttered. "I don't care what Light says, this crew's too creepy. I always feel like they're watching me, just waiting to strike…"

"Don't be silly! It's just your imagination!" Sora said. At that exact moment, a door opened in the wall they were leaning against and they were pulled backward into a secret passage!

"This is my imagination?!" Ed glared at Sora. He was now chained to a post in a small room deep within the ship. Sora was chained to a strange-looking wall.

"Where's the treasure map?" Laharl demanded.

"What treasure map?" Ed glared at them defiantly.

"You'll never get it out of us!" Sora yelled.

"Oh really? We'll see about that… Etna! Start the machine!" Laharl grinned evilly at Sora.

"Okay!" Etna pulled a lever. The chains holding Sora's arms and legs began to recede into the wall. His arms and legs were stretched to more than three times their normal length!

Laharl waited for the screams of pain. They did not come. In fact, Sora's reaction was the last thing he expected.

"Yippee!" Sora yelled gleefully. "I'm finally taller than Riku! And I'm taller than Ed too! Oh wait, I was already taller than him…"

"It's no use! He likes it! Let's torture the midget instead!" Etna grinned evilly at Ed, who was now trying to murder Sora, but failing because he was chained to a pole. Laharl picked up a piece of red-hot metal and moved toward Ed.

"Wait!" Flonne yelled. "Torturing people is wrong! We need to love everyone!"

"But Flonne, if they tell us where the treasure map is, we can use it to spread love all around the world! By not telling us, they're opposing the power of love!" Etna cleverly explained.

"Okay…" Flonne thought for a second. "Then I guess you can torture them. The power of love will win!"

Laharl turned back to Ed with the red-hot metal. "So are you going to tell us where the map is?"

"No!" Ed continued to be defiant. "When I was eleven I got my arm and leg ripped off. Whenever I break my automail, I get beaten with a wrench. You can't make me suffer any worse than I already have!"

Laharl paused and thought. Then he grinned and put the red-hot metal down. He picked up a bottle of milk instead. A horrified expression appeared on Ed's rapidly paling face. He hadn't thought even pirates could be that cruel!

The door opened with a loud bang. Sasuke stared at them in confusion. His eyes darted from the unusually tall Sora to the abandoned piece of metal to the bottle of milk in Laharl's hand. "What the hell are you doing?!"

A few minutes later, everyone stood on the ship's deck. Laharl, Flonne, and Etna all wore shackles. Naruto was absolutely furious.

"Sasuke, I want them locked up for the rest of the voyage!" he yelled.

"Okay, come on!" Sasuke pushed Laharl, Etna, and Flonne in the direction of the ship's cells.

"What?! I refuse to be locked in some pathetic little cell! I am the Overlord of the Netherworld!" Laharl screamed. Sasuke ignored his protests and locked him in the cell with Flonne and Etna.

Naruto turned his attention to Sora, who was amusing himself by reaching his extremely long arms across the ship to tickle Zelos. "Jade, can you do something about Sora?"

"Yes, I think I know how to cure him," Jade said. Following his orders, Sora was tied to a piece of wood, which was hung from the mast. Another piece of rope tied Sora to the deck. Jade used his spear to cut this rope. The effect was reminiscent of a window shade. The piece of wood instantly shot up to the top of the mast, pulling Sora with it. By the time he reached the top, Sora's limbs had snapped back to normal.

"That was so cool!" he yelled as he jumped back down, falling right on top of Zelos. "I wanna do that again!"

Now that this problem was solved, Naruto turned to Luke. "Come to the captain's quarters. We need to talk."


	6. Battle for the Map

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Tales of the Abyss, Naruto, Yu-Gi-Oh, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Kingdom Hearts, Fullmetal Alchemist, Death Note, Tales of Symphonia, Ouran High School Host Club, Fruits Basket, or Disgaea. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

Luke fidgeted in his chair. He hoped that whatever Naruto had in store for him would not be too severe. After what seemed (to Luke, at least) like an eternity, Naruto finally spoke. "Luke, I think I know what just went on here. Those... um, 'kids' just tried to threaten your friends for your map. You do realize this, right?"

Luke couldn't meet Naruto's eyes, as he knew he had been ignoring his two oldest friends lately... if he could still call them his friends, that is...

Naruto sighed, deciding to get to the point, being the impatient ninja he was, and stated, "Luke, I think that your map would be safer if it were in my hands."

Luke twitched. This was not something he wanted to hear. He slowly turned his head up to face Naruto. "What...?"

Naruto's glare seemed to intensify, if only slightly. "Luke, give. Me. The. Map. That's an order."

Luke seemed to be awakened out of trance, his eyes growing defiant. "I'm sorry, but I just can't give you this map."

Naruto sighed. His patience was really starting to be tested. "Fine, then. If you refuse to give me the map, then I'll duel you for it."

Luke blinked. "In a children's card game?"

Naruto fell down. _I'll never understand why every time I or someone else says, 'I challenge you to a duel,' they think it's about a children's card game... Damn you Yu-Gi-Oh…_

"No, no, no! I mean a fighting duel!"

Luke blinked again, finally understanding. "Oooh, right, I knew that..."

After a few minutes, the deck of the ship had been cleared for the match. Luke, although he wasn't much of a fist-fighter, was a fairly good swordsman (he had been keeping track of his winnings against Sora; so far, it was him 99 to Sora with one, and that time Ed had accidentally knocked Luke out.) However, Naruto was a ninja, and we all know that ninjas seem to always win things, and we have no idea why. It's a scientific fact (well, not really, but some people think it is...).

Light the pi- cough "SAILOR" seemed to be watching with a heightened interest. And, now, as all Death Note characters get, Light's really big and totally over-explained thought: _Why would they be fighting? Is it over something? I can't be sure, as I don't have x-ray vision... man I wish I had that... no wait! Crap. I hope no one heard that... Anyways, this is a good chance to see how strong the captain is... Did I leave my underwear in the drier? Shoot, I KNOW people heard that... I'm gonna stop thinking... Why are you still writing this thought? GET TO THE PLOT, NOW!! I wanna read my dirty magazines... oh fu—_

While Light was... thinking, the match was about to start. "Oi! Luke! Here's the rules. If I knock you out first, I win. The only thing you need to do to win," Naruto pointed to his shiny headband "is to take off my headband. Then, you win."

"Bring it on!" Luke said in his normal battle fashion.

The fight began with Naruto using his signature shadow clones, which as all shadow clones do, charged at Luke. Luke seemed to be calm, even with the shadow clones. He then used his sword to draw a circle on the ground, and when the shadow clones (and the real Naruto) got close enough, he yelled, "Guardian Field!"

The clones and Naruto were knocked back, and the clones disappeared. And now, comment time!! I'll let you guess who's talking...

_Wow, finally, Naruto getting his butt kicked, I wish that could be me doing the butt-kicking..._

_Luke's doing good, now if I could only get rid of the milk while everyone's distracted..._

_What are they fighting for? A paopu fruit? That's right! I need to give one to Kairi!_

_Amidamaru... Can you hear my thoughts?_

_I wonder how I can get my hunnies while avoiding Jade..._

_I need to devise a plan to keep Zelos away from those girls... Of course, it should be easy..._

_I'm. Too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for Ouran. _

_The blond host guy is so stupid… along with the cat…_

_Hikaru._

_Kaoru._

_The power of love, goes round and round..._

_I am justice 'cause I'm Kira, and I am so... HEY! GET BACK TO THE STORY!_

Now, back to the fight. Luke and Naruto seemed to be evenly matched overall. Or at least, Luke thought so. The truth was, Naruto was toying with him (he didn't want to have to make Luke's hair any redder than he had to). It was beginning to turn out that Naruto wasn't going to have the luxury of toying with Luke anymore, as Luke was a better fighter than he had anticipated. He thought his shadow clones would do the trick, but not just once, but twice, they had been all deflected with a single attack. Not only that, but Luke was beginning to sense and take advantage of that fact. He'd already made a fairly good cut on Naruto's left arm.

_I might have to use that technique after all... Luke, I'm sorry._

Naruto jumped out of sight. Luke looked around, somewhat panicking because he could no longer see the enemy. Then, he heard something. It was Naruto, saying something like a victory statement, "Listen up, Luke, if I don't beat you with this next attack, then you'll win. However…"

Luke looked in front of him, only to find Naruto feet away, charging at him and holding what looked like a rotating ball. With almost blinding speed, Naruto thrust the spinning ball at Luke, shouting, "RASENGAN!!"

Luke was thrust into the mast, and was knocked out almost instantly. Naruto stood a couple of feet away, panting a bit. "Sasuke..."

Sasuke was already hoisting Luke over his shoulder. "Bring him to the infirmary and make sure he's ok, right Naruto?"

Naruto nodded. Then, as Sasuke passed, Naruto whispered, "Be sure to lock up the map in my quarters, okay?"

Sasuke didn't nod, but did reply. "Sure…"

"Luke!"

Ed and Sora rushed over to their friend to see if he was okay. Even though Luke hadn't been talking to them as of late, they still felt that they were his friends, and of course, worried about his well-being. Sasuke shooed them away. "If you want to talk to him, wait until he wakes up."

Sora and Ed looked on helplessly. Meanwhile, Light hid a malicious grin. _Thank you, Luke, you've proven useful to me again…_


	7. Cabin Fever!

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Tales of the Abyss, Disgaea, Tales of Symphonia, Naruto, Harry Potter, Ouran High School Host Club, Black Cat, Fullmetal Alchemist, Kingdom Hearts, Inuyasha, Fruits Basket, and Death Note. We also do not own the rights to any of these

It had been weeks since the voyage had begun. It had been days since a breeze had touched the sails. Luke had just left the infirmary and was returning to his normal chores. Laharl found out that even the Overlord of the Netherworld was not allowed to have a PSP in prison. The only source of entertainment left to him was Flonne constantly singing "Power of Love". If he were not locked up, he would have jumped overboard and swum home.

It was too hot out to do anything interesting. Even Jade didn't have the energy to launch Zelos out of a cannon. Everyone was bored out of their minds. "Jade..."

"What?" Jade was even more irritated than usual, as he was also bored out of his mind. This was an incredibly dangerous thing, and even Zelos, with his amazing ability not to pay attention except to things that related to girls, dared not utter another word.

Then, almost out of nowhere, one of the, err "good boy's" of the crew was flailing around, shouting, "I GOT CABIN FEVER!!!"

A tourist who was tagging along, calling himself "The King" (but no one ever called him that; it was like calling You-Know-Who Voldemort…except sillier) also started flailing around, yelling, "I'VE GOT IT TOO!!!"

"**WE'VE GOT CABIN FEVER!!!!!!**" Everyone screamed. The Black Cat Band started to play a catchy tune as everyone broke into song. Creed was screaming like a fangirl and kept trying to glomp Train.

"I've got cabin fever! It's burning in my brain!" Pride sang.

"I've got cabin fever! It's driving me insane!" Ansem sang evilly.

"We've got cabin fever! We're flipping our bandanas! We've been stuck here so long that we have simply gone bananas!" Greed, Wrath, and Envy sang in unison. Envy shape-shifted into various forms to emphasize his insanity, some of which should remain unmentioned.

In a burst of bright light, the ship transformed into a tropical fantasy. Many of the sailors, tourists, and cabin boys were suddenly wearing festive outfits and giant sombreros. Others, including Yoh, wore pink frilly dresses and hats made of fruit. Gluttony wore this sort of outfit and started to dance while shaking maracas. Ed and Sora had thought Gluttony was creepy before. But seeing him in a pink frilly dress was downright disturbing.

"We've got cabin fever! We lost what sense we had! We've got cabin fever! We're all going mad!" Zetsu and Naraku were singing a duet.

From his seat with the band, Sven sang out, "Grab your partner by the ears! Lash 'em to the wheel! Do-si-do! Step on his toe! Listen to him squeal! Allemande left, allemande right! It's time to sail or sink! Swing your partner over the side! Drop him in the drink!" The sailors all followed his instructions and hurled their partners overboard after dancing.

Echidna appeared through a portal, and with her trying to glomp Creed, started to sing along with him. "We've got cabin fever, no ifs ands or buts. We're disoriented, and demented, and a little nuts!"

Lust and Sloth started to sing in German, with Momichi yodeling in the background. "Ach du lieber Volswagen car (yodel-le-ee-hoo) saur braten viener schnitzel und a vunder bar (yodel-le-eee-hoo)!"

Sora and Ed stared singing, "We where sailing, sailing, the wind was on our side."

Then a coffin appeared out of nowhere and Orochimaru came out and sang "And then it died. (Sora and Ed were now officially scared for life.)"

"I've got cabin fever, I think I've lost my grip" Gluttony sang with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever wrote this fanfic." Deidara complained.

Ed agreed with a "Si!"

And then, the most disturbing thing that you could possibly imagine (well, not quite as disturbing as Gluttony in a pink, frilly dress, but pretty close). Misa was dancing around in a semi-skimpy outfit, and was singing. "I was floating 'neath a tropic moon, and dreaming of a blue lagoon! Now I'm as crazy as a loon, hee hee!" She paused in her serenade and added, "This song's for you, Light-chan!" Somewhere down in the galley, Light felt an inexplicable feeling of foreboding and sneezed.

Everyone gathered together on deck to sing the final verse. Jade had somehow managed to set up giant search lights while singing. The ship now looked more like a entrance to a big fancy Las Vegas hotel than a sailing vessel.

"_Cabin fever has ravaged all aboard! This once proud vessel has become a floating psycho ward! We were sailing, sailing headed who knows where! And now thought we're all here… we're not all there!_"

As the band played the final notes of this insane song, everyone danced like crazy. Then all the crew members struck a dramatic pose. "**CABIN FEVER!!!! YEAH!**"

Suddenly, a random breeze reached the sails, pushing the ship forward. The lights shut off and the tropical decorations faded away. Everyone was left standing in strange poses on the deck of a normal ship.

Mutters of "I feel so stupid…", "What the heck just happened?", and "I hope Train-chan didn't see me like that" could be heard everywhere.

"That was fun!" Sora smiled. Ed rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, Light was visiting the prisoners.

"Hey Light! What just happened? I heard a rumbling noise from the deck. It sounded like 'Cabin Fever! Yeah!' What was that?" Flonne asked. Everyone stared at her.

"Light! You've gotta get us out of here! Flonne's going crazy! As Overlord of the Netherworld, I command you to set us free!" Laharl demanded.

Before Light could respond, Luke entered with a tray of food. "Here's some bread and water for you."

"What about my pocky?!" Etna whined.

"This is more than you deserve!" Light snapped at her, giving them all death glares. Even Laharl did not dare protest. Light was scary…

Light put his arm around Luke's shoulder. "How are you feeling? I was really worried about you after the fight with the Captain. And I've been meaning to tell you I'm so sorry about what happened to your poor friends. I feel like it's my fault for letting scum like them aboard." He gestured to the prisoners. Flonne opened her mouth to protest to being called scum, but Etna covered her mouth before she could say anything stupid.

Luke shook his head. "It's not your fault, Light. None of this would have happened if I had given the Captain the map in the first place…" He clapped his hand over his mouth, realizing what he had just said.

Light tried to hide his evil grin. Success at last! "What did you say? Don't worry, you can trust me. I'm just your friend Light the cook."

Luke hesitated, then decided it couldn't hurt to tell him. "I had Captain Kisame's treasure map. That's why Captain Naruto wanted to duel me. Now Sasuke's locked it up in the captain's quarters. But it's a big secret! Please don't tell anyone!"

Light smiled reassuringly. "Of course I won't. Your secret's safe with me." Meanwhile he was thinking, _Finally! Now I just need to get the map and the mutiny will begin…_


	8. Stolen Map

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Death Note, Naruto, Shaman King, Tales of the Abyss, Fullmetal Alchemist, Disgaea, Kingdom Hearts, or Tales of Symphonia. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

It was extremely foggy that night. After serving dinner to the crew, Light went for a walk on the deck. He was trying to think of how to get the map from the captain when he noticed that he was not alone. By some amazing stroke of luck, First Mate Sasuke was walking toward him.

"Good evening, First Mate," Light greeted him.

"Hello Light," Sasuke returned the greeting.

"I hate this fog, don't you?" Light said, sounding rather irritated about the bad weather.

"Well, it'll probably blow away soon," Sasuke shrugged.

"I remember one voyage with fog like this," Light reminisced. "The ship hit a rock. Half the crew drowned in leaky lifeboats. But I'm sure nothing like that could happen here. I have no doubt you frequently check the safety of the lifeboats."

"Well, yeah, I guess so…" Sasuke looked very uncomfortable. He hadn't thought to check the lifeboats when he was patrolling the ship.

"I'm glad to hear that. After all, it would be quite horrible if someone drowned in a leaky lifeboat. They would never be able to get revenge against their enemies…" Light said.

A sudden image of Itachi burst into Sasuke's mind. "It couldn't hurt to check the lifeboats again, just to be sure." He walked away towards the lifeboats. Light followed to help him. A few minutes later, they had lowered one of the lifeboats into the water.

"Hold my hat while I test it," Sasuke shoved his first mate hat into Light's hands and climbed into the boat. "This one seems safe enough." He started to stand up when Light interrupted.

"That's what the first mate of my old ship said. But he never tried sailing it in open ocean. That's really the only way to know for sure," Light said knowledgably.

Sasuke hesitated for a moment, then remembered Itachi. If he drowned in one of these lifeboats, Naruto might try to kill Itachi on his behalf. Rage boiled within him. There was no way he was going to let that idiot get the revenge he had dedicated his life to! Filled with angry determination, he called, "I need to make sure this is safe! Cast me off, Light!"

"As you wish, First Mate," Light nodded and dropped the rope that held the lifeboat to the ship. Sasuke picked up a set of oars from the bottom of the boat and began to row away.

Light grinned. Under normal circumstances, there was no way Sasuke would have fallen for such an obvious trap. But angry people had a tendency to not think things through. If used correctly, Sasuke's strong desire for revenge against Itachi, which Light had learned about from rumors, could be a weakness. A weakness that could make him angry enough to cloud his judgment. Light laughed as he looked at the set of keys he had stolen while Sasuke was climbing into the boat. People were _so_ easy to manipulate!

Early the next morning, Naruto woke up to a knocking on his door. He opened it, ready to kill whoever dared disturb him at this early hour. He was shocked to find Tobi standing there, holding Sasuke's hat.

"Captain! First Mate Sasuke fell overboard! His hat was floating next to the ship. I brought it to you immediately. Cause Tobi's a good boy."

Naruto didn't know what to say. He was always fighting with Sasuke and considered him his rival, but they were also great friends. In fact, Sasuke had been one of the first friends Naruto had ever had. It was hard to believe he was gone.

Later that day, a funeral service was held. Everyone attended, whether they were crew members or tourists. Captain Naruto gave a sad speech about all his great memories of Sasuke. For the first and probably last time, all the crew members and tourists were silent. Light stood near Luke, looking sad and serious, despite the fact that he had never been happier.

Deep within the ship, the prisoners were escaping. Light had slipped Sasuke's keys to them. Now Laharl and friends were finally free, and able to look for the treasure map. While everyone was at the funeral, they snuck into the captain's quarters. Their attention was immediately drawn to a desk in a corner of the room. Laharl eagerly shoved a key into the lock of the top desk drawer. Inside, they discovered a frog-shaped change purse, a picture of a pretty pink-haired girl, and Captain Kisame's treasure map.

After the funeral, Ed and Sora snuck down to the galley for a quick snack of pocky.

"It feels so weird…" Sora muttered.

"What? You mean that Sasuke's dead?" Ed asked.

"Yeah, that… And that I have about six paopus stuffed in my pockets…" Sora squirmed uncomfortably. Ed stared at him in amazement. Why did he have six paopus? While he was pondering this, the kitchen door opened and Luke entered.

"Hey Luke! Come have some pocky with us!" Ed yelled. Luke jumped a little. He hadn't noticed them.

"No, sorry, I can't. I've got chores. I wanna clean up before Light gets back so I don't get in his way. Save some pocky for me!" Luke answered.

"Aw, come on! You hardly ever hang out with us anymore!" Sora grabbed Luke's arm and pulled him over to the corner where Ed was sitting.

At that moment, the door opened again. Not wanting to be caught slacking off, the trio hurriedly moved out of sight behind some barrels.

"Ha! Stealing that map was the easiest thing we've ever done! I can't wait till we get to kill that captain!" Etna laughed. Luke, Ed, and Sora froze. Wasn't she supposed to be locked up?

"Yay! Love is so amazing!" Flonne randomly cheered.

"Gimme that! I'm the Overlord so _I_ get the treasure map! And _I'm_ killing the captain! You can kill Yoh's finger!" Laharl snapped at Etna. Suddenly, all three of them went silent.

"You make me sick," Light said. Luke smiled. Now they were gonna get it! Light continued, "If you don't hand that map to me immediately, I'll throw you overboard just like I did to that idiot Sasuke! No one mutinies until I say so!"

Luke's smile vanished. He couldn't believe Light was a traitor! But there was no denying what he had heard. It made him sick to think that he had inadvertently helped those pirates.

Ed mouthed 'Let's tell the captain.' Luke and Sora nodded. They listened as Laharl's group trudged out of the kitchen after giving Light the map. A short time later, Light followed. Luke, Ed, and Sora waited a few minutes before hurrying out of the galley.

Arriving on deck, they discovered that land had been sighted during their absence. Crew members were all over the deck, preparing to go ashore. Amid the confusion, they managed to find Naruto.

"Captain!" Luke called. Once he had Naruto's attention, he lowered his voice. "Light's a pirate! He murdered Sasuke and now he's planning a mutiny!"

Naruto nodded. He had never trusted Light. (But he would definitely miss that delicious ramen…) He glanced around, then spotted Light. "Light! I want you to take the crew ashore!"

"Yes sir!" Light said and hurried to obey.

"But Captain, he's a _pirate!_" Luke repeated, not sure if Naruto had grasped that fact.

"Luke, Ed, Sora, please find the ship's officers and tell them to report to the captain's quarters immediately. Then you three go there too," Naruto said, then walked away.

Ed and Sora ran away to find Yoh and Amidamaru. Luke noticed Jade and Zelos helping to lower the rowboats. Zelos looked very relieved that this task did not involve any explosives. Luke ran over and gave them the captain's message.

Meanwhile, Light was sitting in one of the rowboats with some of the other pirates. He did not look happy.

"This is great! We've got the map and we get to go ashore first! I can't believe we're getting the treasure so easily!" Laharl said happily.

"I think the power of love is bringing us luck!" Flonne suggested cheerfully.

"This _is _too easy…" Light muttered. "I don't trust it!"

He glanced back up at the ship and saw Jade and Zelos walking towards the captain's quarters. Luke was following them. He tossed his notebook back onto the deck as Luke walked past.

"Luke! We've got room for one more!" Light called. "Come with us for this great adventure!"

"No, sorry, the captain wants me," Luke made an excuse, eager to get away from Light.

"That's too bad…" Light said sadly. "But do you think you could pass me my notebook? I think I dropped it on the deck. I'm going to need it later to record what happens on the island. I'd really hate to lose my memories there!"

Luke hesitated, then decided it would look too suspicious if he didn't help. He picked up the notebook and leaned over the side of the boat to give it to Light. Light reached up as if to take it, then grabbed Luke's arms and pulled him into the rowboat!

"Row, Etna! Row!" Laharl yelled at his vassal. Light and Flonne held Luke still. The rowboat quickly moved away from the Tartarus, toward the island. As the ship grew smaller in the distance, so did Luke's hopes of rescue.


	9. Light's Professional Pirates

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Tales of the Abyss, Death Note, Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, Disgaea, Tales of Symphonia, Kingdom Hearts, or Black Cat. We also do not own the rights for these.

"So, Captain, just what is your plan to deal with this mutiny?" Jade had asked the question only a few moments ago. Jade, Zelos, Ed, and Sora had been gathered in the Captain's quarters, and Jade in particular had been ever-so-curious as to what means Naruto had to deal with the mutiny.

Naruto turned to look at his crew, smirking. "Do you really think that I'd have those pirate scum on my ship cause a mutiny and kill me and any of the other good people on this ship? Of course not! I _let_ them all go search for the treasure, while _we_ all get the hell outta here and leave them marooned! Pretty good plan, huh?"

Naruto smiled, amused with his own plan. Zelos couldn't help but object. "But what about the treasure?? Hunnies are only attracted to men by two things: beauty of the male, and money. Or at least, the hunnies I attract..."

Jade made a mental note to have Zelos shot out of another cannon, just for that comment. For now, though, he'd just elaborate for his rather stupid assistant. "Well Zelos, would you rather run the risk of nearly getting killed by a bunch of pirates for a treasure that may not even exist? And besides, I'm starting to ache, these poor old bones of mine..."

Ed hadn't been paying much attention, as something more pressing had come to his attention. "Guys, this is a great plan in all... but does it involve Luke getting kidnapped?"

Everyone seemed to dash to the window, only to have their worst fears realized. Luke had indeed been kidnapped, and was being led to the island in the lifeboat. He appeared to be tied up.

So, because this fanfic makes almost no sense (and because this is what happens in the movie), we're gonna skip right to the part where the pirates are camping for the night. It was so festive, even the Black Cat Band was playing (The only reason Creed couldn't glomp Train and make him suffocate was the fact that Echidna had put a leash on him.)

"Hey, aren't we supposed to be good guys?" Sven was just curious on account of the fact that he was a sweeper, and usually had to actually _catch_ bad guys (for a reward, of course; a guy's gotta make a living) and playing for a bunch of blood-thirsty pirates and their... "God"-like captain seemed hypocritical, at least to him.

One of the girls playing the guitar, Rinslet, put in her two cents on the matter. "We're the _band,_ Sven! We aren't _on _anyone's side!"

Eve agreed. "As long as we don't really help them, we're still good guys. What do you think, Train?"

Train answered with something completely off topic. Actually, it was more like mindlessly shouting. "POLITICS!! POLITICS!" (On a side note, Creed got a nosebleed... I don't know why either.)

"I rest my case," Eve responded.

Sven gave up, and continued to play his saxophone. It didn't help him, however, that he felt sorry for Luke, who was blindfolded and had his hands tied to his chest. On top of that, the pirates kept pushing him around... which apparently was fun... why, who knows...

Anyways, after lots of pushing Luke was stopped and was face-to-face (his blindfold had been taken off) with his so-called friend Light. Light seemed to beam at him, almost smiling. Luke was afraid of what Light had in store for him, but was determined not to show even the tiniest bit of fear, not to this... this traitor...

Light, who seemed to sense this, decided to "test" Luke. "Well, what do you think, my friend? Wonderful, isn't it?"

Luke growled. "Yeah, wonderful alright. You tricked me in to believing I was your friend!"

Light chuckled, amused by this, then gave Luke on of his most sinister looks. "**You ought to be grateful** **that I spared your life. I assure you that if Kisame had his way, you'd have been made an example out of. That, I can assure you."**

Luke couldn't hide the fear on his face. You really couldn't blame him. Light could be beyond scary sometimes. Light smiled again. "Good. I'm glad you know the position you're in. I'll have you know I spared you because I feel you're a valuable asset to my crew, Luke."

Luke smirked. "Like I'd ever become a pirate."

Light blinked, then smiled again. "Now, now Luke, I believe you misunderstand me and my dear, dear crew. We are nothing like that barbarian of a pirate, Kisame, and I'll prove it to you... with my musical number!"

It took all Luke had not to outright puke. The Black Cat Band stared the music (A/N: Some of the lyrics may be changed slightly; it's to fit the fic).

Light had started "his" big musical number. "When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation, my friend said, 'Now bud, this choice deserves deliberation. Though you could be a doctor, or perhaps a financier, my friend, why not consider a more promising career!'"

The pirates had all stared to sing as a chorus, "Hey ho ho! You'll cruise to foreign shores! And you'll keep your mind and body sound by working out of doors!"

Light sung solo again. "True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without—"

The crew joined in again. "—and when you're a professional pirate—"

Laharl finished the verse. "—That's what the job's about!"

"Upstage, men! It's my only number!" Light commanded. He then continued his number, not noticing Luke wanting to puke. Or, just not caring. "Now take Sir Francis Drake, the Spanish all despise him! But to the British he's a hero and they idolize him! It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good! And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood!"

The pirates broke out in song again. "Hey ho ho! We're honorable men! And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten!"

Light drew a dagger. "On occasion there may be someone you have to execute!" He stabbed Greed, who came back to life soon after.

The pirates started again (geez, this is a long song...) "But when you're a professional pirate—"

Flonne sang the next line. "You don't have to wear a suit..."

The other pirates stared at her, dumbfounded. Laharl and Etna gave the most dumbfounded stares.

"...What?" Flonne asked as if what she just said was totally normal.

"I could have been a surgeon I like taking things apart!" Laharl pronounced evilly.

"I could have been a lawyer but I just had too much heart," Flonne confessed.

"I could have been in politics... cause I've always been a big spender," Etna admitted.

"And me... I could have been a contender," Greed said with an evil smirk.

Light elaborated his view of pirates for Light. "Some say that pirates steal and should be feared and hated. I say we're victims of bad press. It's all exaggerated! We'd never stab you in the back!" Lust got stabbed by Wrath as this line was sung. "We'd never lie or cheat!" Misa showed Ed's stolen pocket watch. "We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet!"

And now, back to our heroes. Naruto was issuing orders for those remaining on the ship. "While me, Sora, and Ed go to the island, you three keep the ship safe." They were just getting in the life boat. Jade had one of his dead serious looks on his face. He wasn't sure if there were pirates on board the ship, and if there were, he knew that three crew members didn't stand a chance. Even so, he obeyed his orders and cast them off.

The pirates all started to hum except for Light, who was saying some sort of speech to convince Luke to join him. "Luke, my friend, you should join us! We are not evil pirates or even vigilantes! We are a crew that stand for justice, truth, and—"

Flonne stopped humming to interrupt. "—and the Power of Love!"

Light seemed to be taken aback slightly. "Yeah... that too... Anyways Luke, you should join us!"

The pirates were now singing the last bits of their song. "Hey ho ho! It's one for all for one. And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son!"

At this line a bunch of random pirates glomped Luke, who swore some of his ribs had been cracked. Still, the pirates continued with their song. "We're gentlemen of fortune and that's what we're proud to be. And when you're a professional pirate..."

Light sang one last solo. "You'll be honest, brave, and free! The soul of decency! You'll be loyal and fair and on the square, and most importantly—"

All the pirates joined in for the last chorus of the song. "_When you're a professional pirate, you're always in the best of company!!_"

After the song ended, Luke's bonds were cut from his hands. Light gave a gentleman's smile to Luke. "Well, my friend, shall we be going to find the map?"

Luke couldn't help but stare. Why was Light sparing his life? It seemed really confusing. It was even more confusing that Light was releasing Luke from his bonds. Luke could get away! The only problem was, if he tried to escape, then Light's minions would just capture him again, and Luke didn't think Light would be so lenient with him the next time. Luke vaguely wondered if Light was sparing him partly because Luke had trusted him. He was about to ask when a cannon was shot from the Tartarus. "Ha! See? Captain Naruto's coming to rescue me! You guys don't stand a chance!"

Light did not seem fazed in the least. "Ah, Luke. You're so silly. You didn't think I'd _really_ just let Naruto out-think _me,_ did you? I left my best crew members on the ship, just in case. If another cannon is shot, then that means they have succeeded in our mutiny."

Luke prayed with all his might that there would be no cannon shot. To his dismay, he heard another cannon fired from the ship, along with the pirates cheering. "Now Luke, the only way my crew and I will be able to find the treasure is if I have two things. One is the map, which I have, and two," Light pointed towards Luke's pocket. "is that compass of yours."

Luke looked defeated. He knew that he stood no chance against the pirates alone, and worse, he had to _help_ them. Sighing, he reached for his pocket, took out his compass, and gave it to Light. Light yelled in triumph. With Luke leading the way, they were off to find the treasure.

Meanwhile, Naruto, Sora, and Ed had landed on the island, and were trying to find Luke. They had heard the cannon shots, and feared for the worst. "Come on, you two, we can't let the others who stayed behind down." Naruto's voice was firm, although in truth he was actually quite nervous about Luke's safety, along with his ship's safety. Still, he trudged on, used to this fear.

They were traveling along when Sora tripped. He was panting a bit. Naruto noticed this, and stated, "I think we should rest here for tonight. We won't be any good fighting the pirates if we're tired."

Ed agreed. Although he didn't show it, he was getting kind of tired too. They put out the lights and went to sleep. Well, Ed tried to, but couldn't on account of the fact that someone was staring at him. "Sora…? Is that you...? Dammit, stop staring at me and go to sleep!"

Another pair of eyes was staring at Ed, this time Sora's. "But Ed, I'm over here... I was sleeping..."

Just as Sora said that, more eyes appeared. Ed woke up Naruto, almost panicking. "Naruto! Get up! Turn on the lamp!"

Naruto got up groggily. "Fine... fine... I'm sure it's just owls or something..."

Naruto turned on the lamp, only to find that the eyes definitely weren't owls. They were people! They yelled some kind of weird chant, and dragged our heroes off into the depths of the island…


	10. Boomshakalaka!

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Naruto, Kingdom Hearts, Fullmetal Alchemist, Death Note, Disgaea, Tales of Symphonia, Rockman.EXE, or Ouran High School Host Club. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

Naruto, Sora, and Ed were tied to stakes in the islanders' village. A person wearing a headdress of brightly colored feathers appeared to be the chieftain. The other villagers crowded around eagerly to see the prisoners.

"What?! Why couldn't you have captured some women prisoners?" a man with long white hair and a wart on his face complained.

"There's a higher probability of men invading our island than women, Jiraiya," said a small boy, throwing a toy at the complaining guy.

"Are you sure we should tie them up?" a Flonne-like girl asked nervously.

"Well, L said we should tie them up, so it must be okay…" a gullible-looking guy said.

"Matsuda, just because L says we should, doesn't mean it's okay! Idiot!" a guy eating chocolate said. The gullible guy ignored him.

The chieftain glared at them and they all backed away from the prisoners. "I am L! Chieftain of this island!"

"What kinda name is L?…" Ed muttered. Naruto glared at him to make him shut up.

L continued to talk. "The probability of you being Kira is 1.0567 for the spiky-haired one, 2.377 for the one with the headband, and 4.28 for the short one. Therefore, we will have to sacrifice you for our queen, Boomshakalaka!"

The villagers all started to chant. "Boomshakalaka! Boomshakalaka!"

"We're about to be sacrificed before a savage queen for being like some Kira person we don't even know!" Ed said in horrified amazement.

"Yeah, I know! Isn't it exciting?" Sora said, grinning as usual.

"Boomshakalaka! Boomshakalaka!"

"Hey, Enzan?" a tribal boy with brown hair and eyes asked his companion, who was another tribal boy with black and white hair (think eggshell) and blue eyes.

"What? Keep chanting or that'll be _us_ on those stakes! Don't you remember the last time, Netto?"

Still, Netto persisted, not really caring for the danger. "But Enzan! It's really, really, important! Really!"

Enzan sighed. "Fine. But hurry up so we can get back to chanting."

"Why aren't we main characters in this fanfic?"

Enzan blinked. "Because, the authors wanted to use characters that other people _actually_ know about, and be glad we're even getting these lines: if Keyblade didn't like our anime, then she would have never put us in here. Satisfied?"

"You two! Get back to chanting!" L ordered them.

"Boomshakalaka! Boomshakalaka!"

"And while you're eating, we have this exotic sacrifice scene as entertainment," Kyoya told the tourists, who were eating dinner nearby.

"Look, Bunbun! They're gonna be sacrificed!" Hunny held up his pink toy bunny to make sure it had a good view.

"Boomshakalaka! Boomshakalaka!"

"Hey Colette… Didn't we promise never to sacrifice anyone?" another boy interrupted the chanting, talking to the Flonne-like girl.

"Oh yeah… But Lloyd, I don't think it's bad if we just chant," Colette said cheerfully.

"Oh… Okay! Chanting is fun!" Lloyd agreed happily.

"Hey! Didn't I already tell everyone to keep chanting?!" L said, annoyed. "The next person who interrupts has their probability of Kira increase 10!"

"Boomshakalaka! Boomshakalaka! BOOMSHAKALAKA!" everyone chanted louder and more enthusiastically than ever before. "Boomshakalakalaka! Boomshakalakalaka!"

"Boomshakalakalaka!" Sora happily joined in the chanting. It looked too fun to not chant, even if it was preparation for his death. Naruto would've thrown a kunai at him to shut him up, but this was impossible because he was still tied up.

"Boomshakalakalaka! Boomshakalakalaka!" The chant reached its end. "_BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!_"

Someone cut the prisoners' bonds and pushed them into a bowing position. All the villagers bowed.

The carriage that had been carried by a chimera to the top of the altar had been set down. Naruto, Ed, and Sora had been expecting some horrible shinigami-like person to emerge, and after she emerged, she would do horrible things to them. When the curtains were pulled back, they revealed a young girl with short, pink hair. She looked like she was around Naruto's age. "Onward Noishe! To the sacrifices!"

Noishe started down the stairs when he saw Lloyd. He then sped down the stairs, bringing the Queen down with him. "AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! NOISHE! SLOW DOWN!"

The villagers all watched as their Queen tumbled down the stairs. In hushed voices, they chanted, "Boomshakalaka! Boomshakalaka! Boom—"

"Oh shut up!" Sakura screamed at them. Instantly, everyone was silent. She turned back to the prisoners. "Hello! I'm Sakura Haruno, queen of this isl—"

"Hi Sakura-chan!" Naruto waved and ran over to glomp her.

Sakura's eyes widened in amazement. "Naruto… Is it really you?" Just as he was about to glomp her, she punched him really hard right in the face. He flew about fifty feet through the air, stopping only because he collided with a gong that Kyoya had set up to signal when different events began for the tourists.

Naruto was shaking from the force of the punch and collision. He was barely able to stand. "Old girlfriend…" he muttered as if this explained everything.

"Tie them back in the stakes!" Sakura screamed as she stomped away.

The villagers all tied their prisoners back to the stakes, laughing evilly. They then all went off to do village things. Village things like searching for Kira, which was what a lot of the villagers did all day (Netto and Enzan had once been tied to the stake because they asked if they could have a netbattle break) and while L was the chief, this was what they would do all day.


	11. Where's the Treasure?

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Tales of the Abyss, Death Note, Naruto, Disgaea, Yu-Gi-Oh, Kingdom Hearts, Black Cat, Fullmetal Alchemist, Ouran High School Host Club, Tales of Symphonia, or Shaman King. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

"What does the map say, Luke?" Light demanded.

Luke, carrying the map and compass, was placed in charge of directing the search for the treasure. However, there was still no hope of escape. Laharl and Etna held his arms so tightly it hurt. He did not want to give the demons any reason to hurt him more than necessary. And for once, Flonne was not around to tell them to be nice. Etna had decided they needed to distract her for a while, so she told her what the kanji on Gaara's forehead meant. Flonne, thinking she had finally found a fellow love freak, had not left poor Gaara alone since.

"Walk twenty paces northeast," Luke read reluctantly. Laharl shoved him as they all continued to walk. After twenty paces, Luke turned back to the map. Suddenly, one of the pirates screamed.

"Look Light! Skeletons!" Misa pointed to a tree just ahead of them.

Four skeletons dangled from ropes tied to its branches. As the wind rattled their bones, it sounded almost like "_Card games… Card games…_"

"This island's cursed!" Flonne shrieked. She really had more important things to worry about than curses, seeing that some sand was starting to creep around her threateningly…

"Mmm… curse…" Orochimaru smiled as he remembered the curse mark on Sasuke's neck.

"This world will perish in the darkness!" Ansem yelled.

"Mommy!" Wrath was frightened by the curse and hugged Sloth.

"Train!" Creed called, hoping he could get a hug too. Unfortunately for him, the Black Cat Band had gone back to the Tartarus after the song. Echidna gave a sharp tug on his leash, annoyed that he was ignoring her.

"Do you think there's a curse, sempai?" Tobi asked. Before Deidara could answer, he was interrupted by Light.

"There is no curse!" Light said in a tone of voice that no one dared argue with. "And if anyone is foolish enough to disagree with me, you will be viewed as a traitor." He held up his Death Note to indicate the fate of traitors.

"Yay! Light-chan, you're so awesome!" Misa glomped him.

"Uh, yeah…" Light said. He had a strong urge to write Misa's name in his Death Note, but he decided against it. That could wait until later. Right now, he needed loyal crew members to help him get the treasure. He gave the pirates more orders, "Gaara, stop strangling Flonne. Luke, read what the map says. Laharl, Etna, make sure he doesn't escape."

"Walk fifty paces east. The treasure lies buried at your destination," Luke read. With much cheering, the pirates headed in the direction of the treasure.

When they finally reached the cave marked on the map, Light ordered Gaara to move the sand covering the chests of gold. Gaara glared at all the excited pirates as if he would like nothing more than to kill them all.

"Not yet… But soon… Soon I will kill them all… I will verify my existence and give you their blood, Mother…" Gaara babbled to himself. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked quite insane.

His crewmates glanced nervously at him. Being the only pirate not to sing at all, he had earned a reputation as being both antisocial and very creepy. Light cleared his throat loudly and held up the Death Note.

"No… I will not cease to exist…" Gaara muttered. He performed a jutsu that quickly moved all the sand away, revealing some treasure chests.

"YAY!!!" The pirates jumped into the hole immediately, unable to contain their excitement. They opened the chests… And discovered that they were all empty!

One by one, the eager, excited faces turned hostile. They all stared at Light, who stood next to Luke outside the hole.

"There's no treasure!" Greed screamed.

"You lied to us!" Misa wailed.

"And now we're gonna be tried for mutiny!" Etna yelled.

"It's time to verify my existence…" Gaara said, looking insane again.

"Is this the gift shop?" Tamaki asked. All the angry, bloodthirsty pirates glared at him. "Oookay… I guess not… Sorry to bother you…" He turned around and ran out of the cave as fast as possible.

"Let's kill Light!" Laharl screamed. The rest of the pirates all screamed their agreement and began to climb out of the hole.

Light's expression remained calm. "Get out of here, Luke."

"What?!" Luke stared at him. This was the last thing he had expected.

"You've got a good sense of justice. You don't need to die here. Now go!" Light yelled. Luke nodded and ran out of the cave, still shocked by his escape. Light turned back to his mutinous crew, who were now out of the hole and running toward him. Grinning evilly, he opened his Death Note…  
Meanwhile, Naruto, Ed, and Sora were still tied to the stakes in the islanders' village. After Sakura's outburst, they had been here all day. It was getting very boring.

Eventually, L returned. "Queen Boomshakalaka requests the presence of the one with the headband. The others stay here." Matsuda cut Naruto's bonds and led him over to L. L stared at his prisoner. "Your probability of being Kira has now increased by five percent!"

L and Matsuda walked away to find Sakura, dragging Naruto with them. He glanced back at his friends. From the look on his face, they guessed he'd rather still be tied up than have to face Sakura again.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Sora asked nervously once they were out of earshot.

"No! That crazy queen will probably beat him to death with a wrench!" Ed said, shuddering. (Sora wondered if he got that idea from experience. He was very glad that Kairi never beat people with wrenches.) "And they'll kill us next! Once Naruto's out of the way, that L guy will think we're Kira and sacrifice us!"

"Umm… Ed?" Sora tried to interrupt.

Ed ignored him and continued panicking. "We're gonna die! We're doomed! This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!"

"…Ed?" Sora tried again.

"And that jerk L called me short! I wish we were back at the inn! At least Izumi never sacrificed us! We're doomed!" Ed kept screaming.

"ED!!!" Sora yelled.

"WHAT?!" Ed turned to his companion, furious at the interruption.

"You've been cut free!" Sora smiled.

"Ohhh…" Ed stared at the severed rope.

"Hi guys!" They both jumped at the unexpected voice. "Sora! Stay still while I cut the rope!" Sora obeyed and was cut free.

"Luke!" Ed and Sora glomped their rescuer. "You're alive!"

Luke hugged them back. "Yeah, I got away from the pirates, but I think more of them took over the ship. We need to make sure the rest of our friends are okay!"

"The villagers captured the Captain, but Jade, Zelos, and Yoh are still on the Tartarus," Ed explained.

"And Amidamaru! He's on the ship too!" Sora laughed.

"We can't take on the entire village by ourselves, so Naruto will have to wait," Luke said. "Let's get the ship and then come back for him!"

"Okay!" Ed and Sora both agreed to this plan. The trio ran back to the beach to get the rowboat Ed, Sora, and Naruto had used. To their dismay, they found that its hull had been punctured by several feathery spears from L's tribe.

"Now what?" Sora asked. He looked across the water at the Tartarus, which was anchored pretty far away.

"I guess we could swim to the ship…" Luke suggested.

"No way! Swimming to a ship full of murderous pirates is a terrible plan!" Ed protested.

"Do you have a better idea?" Luke retorted.

"Let's go with him!" Sora pointed to someone in a rowboat near the shore. He squinted at the person. "Hey! It's First Mate Sasuke!"

"What?!" Ed and Luke stopped arguing.

"Hey! Sasuke! Sasuke!" They all screamed and waved their hands to get his attention. Sasuke heard them and rowed to the island.

"Sasuke! We thought you were dead!" Luke said, relieved.

"No, I'm not," Sasuke said, still determined not to die without getting revenge on Itachi first. "But that Light guy is definitely not trustworthy!"

"Now he tells us…" Ed muttered. Sora nodded in agreement.

"Can you give us a ride to the ship? We think the pirates have taken over!" Luke said.

"I leave Naruto on his own and pirates take over the ship! Why am I not surprised?" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Get in." Luke, Sora, and Ed climbed into the rowboat and headed for the Tartarus.


	12. Torments of Hell

A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry! I know it took ages to post this next chapter, but since school started, me and Keyblade have been delayed by boring homework. We're going to try to write the next few chapters faster, but can't guarantee anything. Sorry again!

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Death Note, Mario Golf, Disgaea, Paris Hilton, Kingdom Hearts, Star Wars, Pokemon, 4Kids, Naruto, Black Cat, High School Musical, Tales of the Abyss, Tales of Symphonia, Shaman King, Fullmetal Alchemist, T.M.Revolution, or Dance Dance Revolution. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

Light was not having a good day. Why was he not having a good day, you ask? Well, a good day for our "justice"-bringing friend would normally involve getting up, eating breakfast, killing criminals with the Death Note, reading dirty magazines (to trick L, it's not like he WANTED to read them... okay, maybe he did), playing Mario Golf with Ryuk, then going to sleep, and dreaming of the new world that would be called "Kira Kingdom". However, today involved kidnapping an innocent (this left him with a rather guilty conscience, as he did feel that he was friends with Luke) for his plan, finding out there was no treasure, and worst of all, he getting tied to a tree. By his own crew. Yes, this was a sucky day for our "God"-like Kira indeed. His crew were all staring at him, smirking, something evil planned for their captain.

After what seemed like years, Flonne pushed her way out of the crowd of once loyal pirates. She handed a piece of paper to Light, smiling. "This is for you, Captain!"

"Flonne! He's not 'Captain' anymore, he's pervy poop head!" Laharl yelled from the back of crowd. Light made a mental note to torture Laharl with a Paris Hilton CD later. Or with Flonne. Or both.

Light opened the piece of paper. It was a black heart. "What is this supposed to be...?" He asked his crew hesitantly.

Misa answered his question "It's from me, Light! Laharl and the other pirates said that if I put a black heart on a piece of paper and gave it to someone, their destinies would be intertwined for all of time! We'll be together forever!"

Light stared at her, lost for words. He knew she was a complete compulsive airhead, but he never knew she was _this _bad. "There's two things wrong with that, Misa. One, you're talking about paopu fruits, and two, this is the black spot meaning all of you will try to kill me."

Misa let out a cry of horror while the rest of the pirates laughed. Light took a closer look at the paper, feeling he saw something he didn't quite notice before. When he did notice, he was absolutely furious. "You..." His tone was low, but filled with anger and malice he was about to unleash on his crew. "You DARED to tear a page, a page out of the Bible, the most sacred writing in the entire world, and if that wasn't bad enough, you put a SPOT ON IT!!!!" Light was going ballistic now, and there was no stopping him until the crew would beg on their knees. Speaking of the crew, they were starting to show fear on their faces.

Light didn't let up, not in the slightest. He had them now, as the clichéd Star Wars line says. "Do you even KNOW what happens to those whom dare to defile Ki— I mean, God's work?!" The pirates, even Laharl, shrunk at least two feet. "They are sent to the fiery brimstones of hell! And then do you know what happens when you get there?" The pirates shook their heads, afraid of what was yet to come (or be said). "You'll have to watch the new Pokemon dub and all of the 4Kids anime dubs for all eternity! And no breaks! EVER!"

Orochimaru screamed like a girl, as did many of the other pirates. Creed cried out for his beloved Train. Meanwhile, somewhere on the ship, Train sneezed. Even Gaara was shaking. "That isn't even the worst of it! You also have to watch High School Musical AND High School Musical 2, back to back!"

By now, all the pirates were wailing. It was a rather pathetic sight. Many of them wailed, "I don't wanna watch!" or "Not 4Kids!"

Even Laharl was scared. It still didn't stop him from being rude. "So Light, how do we save ourselves already!!"

Light still held a dramatic demeanor. "You must beg on your knees! Beg Ki— I mean God for forgiveness!!"

All the pirates were on their knees, moaning for forgiveness. If the last bit wasn't pathetic enough, this took the cake. Even the tougher pirates were groveling at Light's feet. Some of them were even so pathetic that they were hugging Light (of course one of them was Misa...).

When Light felt that they had groveled and hugged him enough (it was also annoying), he calmly stated, "You've all been forgiven. Now, untie me!"

All the pirates frantically worked to untie their captain, and were off to discover where (if there was any) the treasure's real whereabouts were.

Now, getting back to what our heroes were doing! As of now, they had (finally) gotten to the Tartarus. Unfortunately, what Light had said was true. The ship had been taken over and was indeed infested with pirates. On closer inspection, the galley of the ship was unoccupied. When the first mate and the cabin boys got close enough, they went in through one of the windows that led into the galley. When they entered, they were greeted by Jade, Zelos, and Yoh, all of whom were tied to the mast.

Jade greeted them. "Well, it's about time you came to save us. I would have easily defeated those pirates were it not for _someone's_ idiocy." He glanced at Zelos.

Zelos, in his usual fashion, objected. "It's not my fault that I accidentally hit you in the head with my sword!"

Jade made a mental note to shoot Zelos out of a particularly large cannon. And maybe a fonic arte or two on his ass. Sasuke unsheathed his sword, and with a quick motion, had the captives freed from the mast. "Now then, all I have to do is use indignation an—"

Yoh interrupted. "If you do that, won't we sink the ship _along_ with the pirates? Then we'll never get off this island!"

Jade pushed his glasses up his nose. "That's probably the most intelligent thing you will ever say, Yoh. I suppose we'll have to think of something else..."

A 'Hmm…' was heard. For a minute, the group thought. Then Jade got an idea. He looked at Sasuke, and gave him one of those "I've got a plan that'll work but you won't like it" kind of grins. Ed was also doing the same. "Sasuke, could you come over here? I believe I have a plan to knock your socks off."

Sasuke stared at Jade. "I'm not wearing any socks."

Ed brushed him off. "I doesn't matter, because we've, meaning me and Jade, got a plan!"

Now, considering that the only resistance on the boat was Jade, Zelos, and Yoh (and the fact that they had been beaten some time ago), the pirates were very bored. Some were staring absently into the sky, some were snoring, and a few of them were knitting. They really wanted something exciting to happen. Like say, a T.M.Revolution concert! Or a DDR machine falling from the sky! The pirates knew that there was no hope for this, and they all sighed.

Then, something rose out of the galley. It was white, covered in seaweed, and seemed to give off an angsty atmosphere. Only one person was capable of this kind of aura. Sasuke. But it couldn't be, since Sasuke was dead. After a second or so, Sasuke spoke, moaning slightly, flexing his seaweed-covered fingers as he did so. "Boogey, Boogey, BOOGEY! I am the ghost! ...Of Sasuke Uchiha..."

The pirates were already shaking. It was so pitiful Sasuke almost felt bad for the pirates. Almost. Sasuke smirked before giving the grand finale. "BOOGEY!!!!"

All the pirates jumped off the ship, and started swimming toward the island like their lives depended on it. After all the pirates had dived overboard and screamed like little girls, Luke, Ed, Sora, Yoh, and Jade came out of the galley. "See Amidamaru? I told you it was a good idea..."

Jade sighed. "Now, we need to make a plan to find the captain and defeat the pirates once and for all. Here's what we should do..."


	13. Treasure

A/N: Again, I'm sorry this took so long. But it's a long chapter so hopefully that will make up for its lateness. As you may have noticed, my penname has changed. This is because me and Keyblade have decided to write more fanfics together after this one. (And these new fanfics will also feature anime characters playing roles in non-anime movies. Yay!) So I decided she should be included in the penname too. I hope this doesn't cause any confusion if/when someone is searching for the fanfic. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Ouran High School Host Club, Fruits Basket, Naruto, Death Note, Disgaea, Tales of the Abyss, Tales of Symphonia, Fullmetal Alchemist, Kingdom Hearts, or Shaman King. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

"And now, if you look to your right, you'll see a photo opportunity you won't want to miss!" Tamaki paused dramatically to get everyone's attention. "The _actual_ jungle location of the popular fanfic, 'Muppets Treasure Island: Never-seen Anime Version!'"

The tourists went crazy with excitement and immediately grabbed their cameras.

"Mori! Can you take a picture of me and Bunbun?" Hunny asked, holding up his pink toy bunny.

"Kyo! We need a picture! _Now!_" Kagura hugged Kyo very tightly while Tohru took the picture. It was surprising that he could still breathe.

"Hurry up, Tamaki. We need to get to the end of the tour," Kyoya instructed the tour guide he had hired.

"Of course! Come along! We must explore the beauty of this mysterious island! Although, I know it can't possibly outshine the beauty of the lovely princesses here…"

The Host Club guests all smiled and blushed at the compliments. Haruhi rolled her eyes. Tohru gave him a ditzy smile, still unaware that Tamaki was flirting with her. Kagura hugged Kyo tighter, as if to assure him that he was the only guy for her.

Kyoya interrupted before Tamaki could forget the tour _again_. "And don't forget to visit the gift shop at the end of the tour, where we'll have lots of exotic pirate-related merchandise available at reasonable prices!"

The tourists wandered away, chatting about what pirate memorabilia they'd buy. Naruto and Sakura were finally left alone.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! You leave me like that and then just show up expecting everything to be fine?! There are plenty of islands in this ocean! Why'd you have to wash up on mine?!" Sakura screamed at him.

"Sorry…" Naruto's voice was barely audible. He was scared to interrupt her, as he had a bad feeling that his life would soon end if she kept getting angry at him.

"Sorry?! Sorry doesn't cut it! You abandoned me for over two whole years!" Sakura continued to rant. "And since Sasuke already left, I was all alone! And Ino wouldn't shut up the whole time! I was almost glad when Kisame kidnapped me!"

"Whoa, whoa, what did you just say?!" In his shock, Naruto forgot about his plan to keep quiet until she had calmed down.

"I went looking for you and Sasuke and then I ran into the Akatsuki. They kidnapped me to use me as bait so they could capture you and get the fox demon. But you never came!" Sakura was still yelling, but tears were starting to appear in her eyes now. "You never came! They didn't see any more use for me, so Kisame brought me with him when he went to bury his treasure. He marooned me here!"

"Sakura…" Naruto stared at her for a moment. He never imagined she would be in so much danger while he was gone. "I'm so sorry…" He reached out his arms and hugged her.

"Aww!" The sarcastic noise came from Light's pirate crew. Sakura and Naruto immediately moved apart.

"Hello Light," Sakura said his name with such distaste that it was obvious they knew each other.

"Well, Sakura, this seems to be your day for meeting old boyfriends," Light smirked. It was hard to tell who looked more shocked by this information: Naruto or Misa.

"You _dated_ this jerk?!" Naruto stared at her.

"Light-chan! Lemme write her name in the Death Note! Please!" Misa wailed, trying to grab Light's Death Note.

"He promised to take me away from the island! I just wanted to get back to Konoha!" Sakura tried to defend her actions.

"No, Misa, we need to find the treasure. And I think Sakura knows where it is," Light explained.

"And then I found out all he wanted was the treasure!" Sakura looked ready to kill Light now. "He wasn't even planning to help me! He was just gonna take the treasure and leave me still marooned!"

"Exactly," Light grinned. "And that's why I'm back now. We need the treasure. And if you and Naruto want to stay alive, I suggest you tell me where it is!"

Sakura looked around nervously, then spotted something that made her considerably relieved. She turned coolly back to Light. "I don't think I want to tell you."

Before Light could respond, another voice echoed down from a cliff above them. "You're Kira! I knew it! Leave now or there's a 93.2 chance that you will be impaled by our spears!" L and the other villagers waved their feathered spears threateningly.

Light rolled his eyes. He pulled out a gun and shot L's chieftain headdress off. L looked up at where his feathery hat had once been. All the other villagers stared at him, awaiting his verdict.

"We see you have boom-boom sticks… Bye-bye!" L ran away, followed by most of the other villagers.

"But I want a boom-boom stick!" Mello complained.

"Come on, Mello. We've got chocolate back at the village," Near said.

"Chocolate? Chocolate! CHOCOLATE!!!" Mello ran ahead of everyone else.

With this minor threat removed, Light turned back to Sakura and Naruto. Sakura now had her head in her hands. It was unknown whether this was due to hopelessness or just shock at the silliness of her followers.

"So, Sakura, where did you say that treasure is?"

"There is no treasure! It was all a trick!" Sakura glared defiantly at Light.

"Oh really? Then where did you get that necklace of gold coins?" Light grinned.

"Umm… the internet?" Sakura said.

It was a pathetic lie and everyone knew it. Light grinned even more. "Thank you, Sakura. I think it's time we taught Sakura the importance of honesty. Bring Naruto to the cliff!"

With many loud cheers, Misa, Laharl, and the other pirates escorted Sakura and Naruto to the highest cliff on the island. They all worked together to overpower Naruto, tie a rope around his legs, and dangle him upside-down over the edge of the cliff. It would have been much easier for Light to just threaten him with his Death Note, but apparently he thought this would bother Sakura more.

"Now Sakura, are you going to tell us where the treasure is or not?" Light asked.

"Don't tell that bastard anything!" Naruto yelled.

Sakura glared at Light. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Light grinned. He let out a loud cheer, which his crew immediately echoed, and raised his sword to cut the rope.

"No! Stop!" Sakura screamed. She threw herself in front of Light. His sword came to a halt and he looked at her expectantly. "The treasure's at my house! It's on the outskirts of the village. You'll recognize it by the Konoha symbol on the door. Now let him go, you jerk!"

"Thank you, Sakura." Light gave her a hug. Knowing that he was mocking her, Sakura shoved him away.

"Can I kill her now? Pleeease?" Misa begged, grabbing Light's arm and clinging to him as if they had been super-glued together. "We know where the treasure is, so we don't need that b anymore, right?"

"You're right, we don't need her anymore." Light laughed maniacally.

Meanwhile, back on the Tartarus, our heroes were preparing to return to the island and save their captain. In his absence, Luke had somehow ended up acting as captain.

"Ed! Sora! Raise the anchor!" Luke ordered. His friends both saluted and ran off to obey. "Jade and Zelos, prepare the cannons!" Jade looked very happy about this order. Zelos looked terrified. "And Yoh…"

"Luke, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to let the pirates take over the ship! I—"

"You will be taking the helm," Luke grinned.

Yoh blinked in surprise. "The helm?! You mean the boat steering thing? Step aside, Amidamaru! I will be taking the helm!"

"Hurry, Ed!" Sora yelled as he pushed the wheel that controlled the anchor.

"I'm going as fast as I can!" Ed yelled back. He was holding onto the wheel, but his feet were dangling above the deck. He would never admit it, but he was too short to help with this device. Luke laughed as he watched his friends.

"Luke! Isn't that Naruto?!" Sasuke pointed to a cliff ahead of the boat.

Luke looked where he was pointing. His eyes widened. "Head for that cliff! We have to help Captain Naruto!"

"You know, I'm beginning to see a pattern in the men I date," Sakura groaned. She was now hanging beside Naruto, over the edge of the cliff. A candle had been placed under the ropes, slowly burning them. Light had decided it would be best to kill them slowly. But then his crew was getting impatient, so they left their captives and went to find the treasure instead.

"Aw, Sakura, why do you have to keep bringing that up?" Naruto complained. "We're about to die. Can't we just put the past behind us?"

Sakura was silent. At first Naruto thought she was angry and was probably about to kill him. But then he realized she was crying. _Oh damn… What do I do now?_

"Umm… Sakura-chan… Don't cry… I won't leave you again…" Naruto said awkwardly. He would have given her a hug, but that would have been kind of difficult considering that they were both dangling upside-down from a cliff. Instead, he reached out and grabbed her hand.

Although still crying, Sakura smiled. "Thanks Naruto… I'm glad we're together again…"

Meanwhile, the pirates had discovered the treasure exactly where Sakura said it would be. They were all laughing and dancing. Flonne even decided to sing a song about love. For the first and probably the last time, no one told her to shut up. The sight of unbelievable gold and jewels had distracted everyone.

Even more unusual, Flonne was not the only one on the island singing about love. Naruto and Sakura had decided that they needed some way to pass the time before they fell. And since they didn't feel like dwelling on their impending doom, they decided to sing a happy song instead.

"Love led us here! Right back to where we belong! We followed a star and here we are! Now heaven seems so near!"

Naruto smiled at Sakura. She wiped the tears away from her eyes and smiled back. Holding each other's hands more tightly, they sang the last verse, truly meaning every word.

"So take my hand… And have no fear…We'll be alright… Love led us here!"

As they finished singing, the candle finally had its effect. Sakura's rope snapped. For a moment, she felt herself plummeting. She screamed as loud as she could. Then she suddenly stopped falling. Naruto was holding her hand even tighter than before. He was the only thing stopping her from falling to her death.

"Naruto… You saved me…" She stared up at him in amazement. He didn't answer due to the enormous effort it took to keep holding on to her hand. They both knew it was a matter of seconds before Naruto's rope would break too, but they tried not to think of that.

If either of them had looked down, they would have noticed the Tartarus directly below them. Luke, Sasuke, Ed, Sora, Jade, and Zelos were all working together to spread a giant net to catch them. With help from Amidamaru, Yoh was steering the ship into the correct position.

The rope snapped. Naruto and Sakura both plunged down to the sea below. Luke and friends leaned over the net… and discovered that it was empty. They had failed to save their friends.

"We're heroes! We saved the Captain and Boomshakalaka!" The loud cheer echoed from the ship's bow.

Everyone dashed over to see who had done this. Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, the Tartarus's twin figureheads, were holding Naruto and Sakura safely above the water.

"But Hikaru… This is the first time we've said anything important in this entire fanfic! The authors must not think we're important enough!" Kaoru said.

"You're very important to me. And that's all that really matters," Hikaru replied.

"Hikaru!"

"Kaoru!"

"Umm… Excuse me? Could someone please get us out of here?" Naruto called up to his friends. He did _not_ want to be between Hikaru and Kaoru when they were feeling brotherly love.

Luke, Sasuke, and the rest of the crew helped Naruto and Sakura onto the ship's deck.

"Captain! I'm so glad you're okay!" Sora said happily.

"Me and Amidamaru were very worried about you!" Yoh added.

"And who's this hunny?" Zelos grinned at Sakura. Then he noticed Jade glancing at the cannons and decided this would be a good time to shut up.

"Sasuke! You're alive!" Naruto smiled. Both he and Sakura glomped Sasuke, who didn't look happy, but wasn't as angsty-looking as usual either.

"Hey… Who's steering the ship?" Ed asked. Everyone suddenly realized that they had forgotten this detail in their excitement.

On the beach, the pirates were carrying treasure to their rowboats. The Tartarus, which was supposed to be anchored on the other side of the cliff, was heading straight for the beach. Thinking this was rather strange, they looked at it with a telescope… and saw absolutely no one at the helm. Complete chaos erupted.

"It's haunted!"

"It's Captain Kisame's ghost!"

"He's coming back for revenge!"

"He's going to kill us!"

The pirate crew ran in different directions, screaming as loud as they could. The "haunted" ship continued to approach, showing no signs of stopping before colliding with the beach.

Light was the only pirate who remained calm and logical. He glared at the approaching vessel. "Fabre…"


	14. Pirate Battle!

A/N: Yes, I know we are horrible people. We've been wicked busy and had to procrastinate a bit on this chapter. I'm using that as my pathetic excuse for why it's been months since we posted the last chapter. The truth: we're lazy and easily distracted. Sorry! We'll try to be slightly less late next time. But anyway, please enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Kingdom Hearts, Naruto, Tales of the Abyss, Tales of Symphonia, Shaman King, Fullmetal Alchemist, Disgaea, Black Cat, Death Note, Ouran High School Host Club, Fruits Basket, or Lucky Star. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

"Hey! There's the pirates!" Sora pointed down to the beach. "And they've got the treasure!"

"Well, let's get it back! It's mine anyway!" Sakura yelled.

"Yeah! We need to defeat Light! Believe it!" Naruto yelled his agreement. He was immediately hit on the head by both Sakura and Sasuke. "Okay, okay, I won't say it anymore. Can we just attack?"

"Right! Keep your guard up everyone!" Luke unsheathed his sword and jumped down onto the beach, hacking through the panicking pirate crew.

"What's going on? Where's Train-chan?" Creed screamed. He noticed Sora coming after him. "No! You're not sensual enough to be my counterpart!" A moment later, he was knocked unconscious by the keyblade.

"Wow, there sure are some weird people in this world… Ed!" He raised his keyblade. "Firaga!" A burst of flames hit Envy, who had been about to stab Ed.

"Thanks for that!" Ed yelled as he transmuted his automail into a sword and began fighting Laharl.

"Get away from my Light-chan, you b!" Misa screamed at Sakura. She charged at her with a very fashionable golden sword from the treasure pile.

"Idiot…" Sakura punched the ground as hard as she could. Rocks flew up and hit Misa. Sakura smiled when her opponent stopped moving.

Meanwhile, Naruto and Sasuke were fighting Flonne and Etna. The battle was going fairly well at first, but then Naruto noticed Gaara approaching. He and Sasuke both got ready to use their most powerful attacks.

"Sand coffin!" To their surprise, the deadly sand did not surround them. Instead, it enveloped the demon and fallen angel.

"Uhh… Thanks, Gaara. But aren't you supposed to be fighting _against_ us?" Naruto asked.

"Are you kidding? I love you guys!" Gaara smiled. It was kind of creepy. "And that angel girl was starting to annoy me anyway."

"AHHH!" Was the sound that Zelos made when Jade launched his new "Anti-Akatsuki Cannon" that he wished to test (can you guess what it's loaded with?).

The Akatsuki were a little taken aback with the odd attack, but stood ready. Zelos smirked. "Let's see how you like this! JUDGMENT!!!"

Just as he uttered the word, Zetsu, Deidara and Tobi looked up to see several lights coming down from the sky. Tobi jumped up into Deidara's arms, yelling, "Hold me sempai! Tobi's a good boy!"

Zelos, meanwhile, floated above using his angel wings and watched the three get owned by his attack, laughing.

"Wow… The details of these fights are so realistic," Tohru remarked. "I can't believe you're going to all this trouble to entertain us! You're such wonderful people!"

"Of course!" Tamaki smiled at her. "But nothing is too much trouble for such a beautiful princess as you!"

"At a reasonable price, of course!" Kyoya smiled too.

Yuki and Kyo groaned. "At least the food is good…"

Yoh, meanwhile, was not fairing so well. He was half defending himself from Orochimaru and half freaking out about how Orochimaru was fighting with a sword in his mouth. He then instinctively had "Amidamaru" fight, and by that he was waving his finger spastically at the snake man.

Zelos noticed this, as did Jade, and they looked at each other and grinned. Just as it looked hopeless for the space cadet Yoh, Zelos unleashed another Judgment, while Jade used Indignation on Orochimaru. Yoh looked to see that his opponent was a smoldering pile of ash. He stared at his finger in awe. After a moment he said, "Wow, I had no idea you were such a good swordsman, Amidamaru… Oh! You're welcome."

Zelos fell to the ground while Jade sweat dropped and sighed.

"What's wrong with you all?!" Light screamed at his pathetic crew. "Kira will punish you for this failure! You'll all die and then—"

"Light!" Naruto interrupted him. "You're going down!" He hurled some kunai and shuriken at Light, who dodged them and unsheathed his sword. Everyone stopped fighting to watch this epic battle.

Renge and the Yuki Fan Club bought some pompoms from Kyoya's gift shop and cheered for Naruto, while doing the Lucky Star dance. "Naruto! Naruto! He's our man! If he can't do it, no one can!"

Having thrown all his weapons, Naruto resorted to his most powerful jutsu. "Rasengan!!!" Swirling chakra appeared in the palm of his hand. He aimed it at Light, who dodged it again. (Apparently, being both a pirate and a tennis champion gave him very good agility.) But the attack did manage to knock the sword from Light's hand.

Realizing his disadvantage, Light pulled out a pen and his Death Note. It would take longer for Naruto to gather and control his chakra for another attack than it would for Light to write his name. Naruto had no hope of survival and they both knew it.

"I win." Light gave his most evil grin. "What?" He blinked in surprise at the sword that was now pointed at his throat.

"Kill Captain Naruto and you'll have to kill me!" Luke said.

"Kill Luke and you'll have to kill me!" Sora raised his keyblade defiantly.

"Kill Sora and you'll have to kill me!" Yoh announced proudly.

"Kill Yoh and Amidamaru and you'll have to… uh… negotiate strenuously!" Ed pointed his transmuted automail arm at Light.

"Going somewhere, Light?" Sakura grinned, pointing a kunai at him. L and his tribe stood behind their queen, all holding very pointy spears.

"Kira! There is a 100 chance that you will die if you kill anyone here!" L announced proudly.

"Nooo! I'm Kira! I am the god of this world! I can't die!" Light started laughing maniacally. It went beyond the normal limits of creepy. "I don't want to die! I don't want to die!"

"Umm… How about you just surrender the Death Note then?" Luke suggested, a bit creeped out by Light's behavior.

Light appeared to calm down. "Very well, Luke. It seems your little family has turned against me." He handed the Death Note to Luke.

The battle was over.


	15. A Mentor's Escape

A/N: Yeah, I know we're horrible, lazy people. This chapter should've been done a long time ago, but our school seems to want to kill us with homework and we got jobs, so yeah, we've been busy. Okay, done making excuses now. :) Sorry you had to wait so long for this. I promise the epilogue will be posted very soon. (I mean it this time!)

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Disgaea, Death Note, Fullmetal Alchemist, Black Cat, Tales of the Abyss, Kingdom Hearts, or Naruto. We also do not own the rights for any of these.

"We were so damn close!" Laharl snapped. "We actually had the treasure in our hands!"

"But now that pink-haired freak has all my treasure! It's so unfair!" Misa whined.

"I'll get you for this, Elric!" Envy screamed.

"I hate this cell! I can't even see Train-chan from here!" Creed wailed, glaring at his cellmates. "None of you are sensual enough to be my counterpart! I wish I'd never gone after that stupid treasure!"

"Well, I'm glad we did!" Flonne announced. "I believe I have learned a valuable lesson from this experience!"

Everyone had been trapped in a cramped cell together all day and were only too eager to find a scapegoat for their problems. Preferably one they could injure immediately.

Light listened to the screaming and fighting from the cell next door. Why had his plan failed so miserably? He was Kira after all! He should have killed them all when he had the chance, but now his Death Note had been confiscated and he was stuck listening to his idiotic minions for the whole return journey. He sighed, leaned back, and shoved his hands into his pockets, resigned to a long, unpleasant voyage.

Suddenly, his fingers brushed against something cold in his pocket. Iron. He gleefully traced the rough texture of the keys he had tricked Sasuke into giving him so long ago. The keys that could unlock anything on the entire ship. A smug grin spread across his face. This journey wouldn't be as long (or as unpleasant) as he thought…

Later that night, Luke was walking around the deck on a routine patrol. The fog hovered around the ship, obscuring much of the surrounding ocean. It was long past midnight, so no one else was awake, with the exception of Yoh, who had volunteered to steer tonight. But the helm was on the other side of the ship, so Luke couldn't even hear him chatting with Amidamaru. All he could hear was the soft creak of the boards as he walked around the deck… and the slightly louder creak of the pulley that lowered the rowboats.

Luke dashed to the railing and stared down at the lone figure sitting in the rowboat, surrounded by treasure. He gasped. "Light!"

The pirate lowered his oars and looked back up at him. "Good evening, Luke." He noticed the whistle Luke was slowly raising. "You're not going to sound the alarm, are you? I really don't want to die, you know."

Luke ignored him. Captain Naruto had told him to sound the alarm if he saw anything unusual, and an escaping prisoner was definitely unusual. It didn't matter that Light had once been one of his closest friends and had even saved his life. Now he was just a dangerous pirate trying to escape with the treasure. Luke raised the whistle to his lips.

"Don't do it, Luke!" A glint of fear showed in Light's eyes. He hurriedly opened his Death Note. "I'll kill you! I can write your name long before help would come!"

Luke's hand shook. Light was a _pirate_. But even so… Luke remembered when he had first joined the crew of the Tartarus. He had known very little about life on a ship. Light hadn't just been his friend. He had been his mentor. And somehow, Luke just couldn't hate a respected mentor, even if he was a pirate.

Light closed the notebook before Luke even started to lower the whistle. "I know I've said it before, but you've got a good sense of justice. The world needs that. It won't matter once I finally rule as god, but for now… You're worth more alive than dead."

Luke dropped the whistle, internally cursing his weakness. "Dammit! Just get away from here! I don't ever want to see you again!"

Light reached for the oars, then stopped and pulled something out of his pocket. He tossed the shiny object onto the deck. "You would've made a great Kira." He began to row and was soon lost in the fog.

Luke bent down and picked up his compass from the deck floor. It was all he had left of the life he couldn't remember. And he had gotten it by setting a dangerous pirate free. Captain Naruto wasn't going to be happy about this. He'd probably be thrown overboard or something. He punched the railing in frustration, but was unsure whether this anger was aimed at Light or himself. _Dammit!_

"Hey Luke…" A voice hesitantly called behind him.

Luke whirled around. Naruto, Ed, and Sora all stood behind him.

"It's okay, Luke," Naruto said gently. "He's gone now."

Sora immediately glomped Luke, hoping to make him feel better. Luke stumbled backward toward the railing.

"Watch it!" Ed pulled Sora off him. "You're gonna knock him overboard."

"But he looked so sad!" Sora protested. "And since ships run on smiles, I thought I should, y'know, cheer him up."

Before Ed or Luke could whack Sora for his ridiculous statement, Sasuke ran over to them. "Captain! I just finished checking the lifeboats!"

"And?" Naruto waited for Sasuke to continue.

"One's missing. And I know for a fact it's not safe," Sasuke explained.

Everyone silently turned around, staring at the fog where Light had been seen for the last time.

Meanwhile, Light's rowboat was taking on water at an alarming rate. He tossed his Death Note onto the still-dry pile of treasure and grabbed a golden bowl. In vain, he tried to pour the water out of his sinking boat. It only took a few minutes for him to realize the hopelessness of his situation. Squinting through the fog, he saw the silhouette of the island. It was close enough to swim to without the burden of treasure. He did not hesitate a moment before diving into the water and heading for shore. No treasure was worth Kira's life.

It was only when he reached the island that he realized he had left his Death Note with the now-sunken treasure.


	16. Epilogue

A/N: YES!! We actually finished a fanfic! does happy dance Anyway, we've got more "Never-seen Anime Version" fanfics planned. At the moment, we're planning Muppets Christmas Carol (starring Light as Scrooge, Major Armstrong as the Ghost of Christmas Present, and Ion as Tiny Tim) and School of Rock (starring Jiraiya as Dewey, Shinji as Zack, and Asuka as Summer). It will probably be a while before we post anything else (and those cast lists are of course subject to change), but we will try to write them eventually. Thank you so much to everyone who read, reviewed, and/or faved this fanfic! You all rule!

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Treasure Island, Tales of the Abyss, Fullmetal Alchemist, Kingdom Hearts, Naruto, Death Note, Host Club, Fruits Basket, Spice Girls, Tales of Symphonia, Black Cat, Yu-Gi-Oh, or Yu-Gi-Oh: the Abridged Series. We also do not own the rights to any of these.

Luke had a strange dream that night. A girl was waiting in a valley filled with beautiful white flowers. She wore a brown dress and carried a staff. Her long hair fell across her face, covering her right eye. She started to sing while she waited. Her voice was beautiful. Who was she? Luke searched his brain for the answer. Something seemed so familiar about her. _Wait a minute… Is she waiting for… me?_

Suddenly pain jolted through his head. He had had headaches many times before, but never this bad. He wanted to wake up, but couldn't. A voice accompanied the pain. "Where the hell are you?! Useless replica!"

The pain ceased as quickly as it had come. Luke woke up wondering if maybe, finally, he had remembered something from his past. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he was that he had met that girl before. Even the angry voice seemed familiar, although he had no idea what it meant by "replica."

Luke picked up his compass and stared at it for a few minutes. He resolved that someday he would find out the truth about his past. And what better way to do that than by sailing and exploring all over the world?

"Luke!" Sora yelled from up on the deck. "Wake up, lazy!"

"Yeah!" Ed shouted. "You're missing the party!"

Grinning, Luke put the compass away and heading up to join the party. They had managed to convince the Host Club to take the tourists scuba diving. During their exploration of the ocean floor, someone had come across the sunken treasure. It was soon recovered. All that remained was the ruined hull of a leaky rowboat and a small black notebook that no one dared retrieve. Everyone was happy about how things had turned out, especially the island's former inhabitants.

"There is a 63.9724 chance that we will never see Kira again!" L announced proudly.

"Just look at all the girls on this ship!" Jiraiya cheered.

"Yeah, I know! Aren't my hunnies great?" Zelos agreed. "They're almost as pretty as me!"

"Naruto! Thank you so much for everything!" Sakura glomped Naruto.

"Uh… You're welcome?" Naruto didn't quite know what to do. He half expected her to say "Just kidding! I'm still mad at you!" and beat the crap out of him. Sasuke just smirked.  
Ed and Sora had taken it upon themselves to devour all the remaining pocky. Laughing, Luke decided to help.

"Shouldn't there be a song now?" Eve asked.

"Oh yeah!" Sven quickly got the band organized. The crew soon supplied the song's lyrics.

"If you wanna be my lover!" Train started. (Down in the cells, Creed was drooling.)

"You gotta get with my friends!" Tamaki and Tohru chimed in.

"Make it last forever!" Boomshakalaka's tribe sang.

"Friendship never ends!" Luke, Ed, and Sora sang through mouths stuffed with pocky, as the ship sailed away toward adventures they couldn't even imagine.

Meanwhile, Light did not have such a happy ending. Having lost his minions, his treasure, and even his deadly notebook, Light fully expected to live out his life alone on a pathetic desert island. He was not so fortunate.

"My voice gives me eternal life!" The ghost of Tristan announced loudly.

"Me and my Yugi-muffin get to play children's card games for eternity! (And make out too!) Best destiny ever!" Tea glomped Yugi after taking her turn.

"It's super special awesome!" Yugi added. "Oh, Light, I think it's your turn."

"This game doesn't even make sense! I am Kira, the greatest genius this world has ever known, and even I don't understand the rules!" Light shouted, throwing down his hand of cards.

"Rules? What rules? Screw the rules! We have immortality!" Joey grinned and grabbed Light's cards.

Light groaned. The great Kira was now trapped on a deserted island with no treasure and a group of annoying ghosts obsessed with a children's card game. Death would've been nicer.

**The End**


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